


Barren Souls

by Snowy38



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Breaking The Rules, But is actually Consensual, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Escape, Falling In Love, Hot Sex, I promise, Inspired by Handmaids Tale, M/M, Mpreg, National Socialism, Rules, Stud Louis, dystopian fic, harry mpreg, its complicated, not as depressing as it sounds, some violence, technically non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-06-29 17:49:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 37,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15734400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snowy38/pseuds/Snowy38
Summary: It's 2907 and things are different.Organic men and women are no longer fertile and only genetically modified humans are permitted to procreate. The sexes have equalled, men are able to give birth in these dire times and roles have been created to both sire children ('Stud') and carry them ('Provider').Public displays of affection are a criminal offence and the procreators cannot get emotionally attached without severe consequences.Harry has hit 19, the legal age to bear children.He's looking forward to producing babies for his host family and he's just had his placement confirmed.All that's left now is to meet the Stud who'll impregnate him.It might tug at his heartstrings thinking about the beautiful babies he'll be carrying who he'll have to let go but he's trained for this. He's spent his whole life preparing.Being a Provider is a special job and Harry's one of the chosen.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all  
> I hope you give this a shot! Thank you to Jaymi Leigh for beta-ing this and ElesBells for convincing me to post it!  
> Obviously it's all made up. Please don't pick on inaccuracies, I tried my best :) I wrote it some time ago so it's taken some courage to post.  
> Ang

 

Harry's family are Simon and Ava Cowell.

 

Their home is decadent and their provisions for Harry appear to be well over what he's come to expect in his role. The fact he is receiving a payment for providing couples with their much-wanted children is all he's ever expected. He's been told that he'll get a room and board, but he isn't expecting such a warm welcome and a big room facing the beautiful back garden.

 

He's going to share the room with the Stud of course, they'll be expected to act as a maternal couple until Harry falls pregnant at which point the Stud can move onto his next job.  In some homes the family like the Stud to stay until birth so that they leave together and the process feels less manufactured and the Cowell's certainly appear to have enough money to pay the Stud's rates for an additional period but Harry tries not to think about it too much.

 

He tries not to think about how he'll be spending intimate moments with his Stud and then spending nine months on his own in a strange house with people he doesn't truly know and who only care about him for the life he'll be growing inside.

 

He's sitting with his hands in his lap, thumbs twitching nervously together apart from the times one hand lifts to brush his long hair behind his ear; which is about once every thirty seconds in his current nervous state.

 

And then the doorbell rings and he's here. The Stud is here and Harry can't breathe.

 

Because what if the guy doesn't like him? What if he's rough and the sex hurts? He's been told to expect that; he's been told that emotionless sex is half of his life now and pleasure is a long forgotten sensuality that the old world purged.

 

He's been told not to say anything, to just get on his hands and knees and take it.

 

Harry doesn't know if he agrees with everything he's been told.

 

//

 

"Hey..."

 

Louis shifts up next to Harry on the sofa so there's only an inch between their thighs. Harry has tucked his hands between his thighs and decides that staring at his jeans is the only way to process what is happening. His hair is falling over his face now, he's been frozen in place, afraid to move.

 

"So, uh...everything okay?" Louis asks.

 

Harry nods. He takes a deep breath and brings his head up slowly. He knows he can't avoid the moment any longer and he focuses his gaze on the man sitting next to him.

 

What he finds there isn't at all what he expects. The first thing Harry notices is that Louis is small. Not some big, muscled, ogre-type guy who's going to hold him down and fuck him hard. Louis is all of five-eight and slim, but so incredibly handsome that Harry immediately sees why his genes are in demand. He has straight teeth, a perfect smile and these mesmerising blue-grey eyes.

 

They're warm, is what Harry notices. His eyes are crinkled at the edges and a small hand slips onto Harry's thigh.

 

"I'm Louis," he introduces. "And you're my Harry, right?"

 

Harry blinks, his curly dark lashes fluttering like butterfly wings.

 

"I am." He acknowledges.

 

Because he _is_ Louis' now, he's in a very vulnerable position at the submission of another.

 

Louis looks at his drink with an impish smile.

 

"Well you don't need to worry, I'm a pro at all this," Louis expresses. "Simon and Ava are happy for us to get to know each other a bit before we...you know," he tilts his head side to side and grins at Harry.

 

Harry feels a bit blinded. Louis doesn't look more than twenty-four and he's a pro already. He wants to ask Louis how many children he's fathered.

 

"Sounds good to me," he nods his agreement to getting to know Louis first.

 

"Shall we um...head into the gardens for a bit?" Louis suggests.

 

Harry darts a look to the hosts. Ava smiles warmly, her arm threaded through Simon's who nods his approval.

 

"It's still warm out and it's lit," he offers.

 

Harry stands on slightly wobbly legs looking to Louis for a lead.

 

Louis squeezes his elbow and gently steers him towards the back door.

 

//

 

_Later_

"What...what are you doing?"

 

Harry freezes as Louis' lips press into his butt cheek.

 

"Making it nice for you..." Louis muses. "Is that a problem?"

 

"I-" Harry swallows his stutter. "I was told that you'd just-"

 

"Fuck you?" Louis enquires parting Harry's cheeks with his thumbs to lick a stripe down his crack.

 

Harry muffles his strangled noise of pleasure and wriggles on the bed.

 

"Y-yes, I was told it wouldn't be pleasant," Harry adds quietly.

 

Louis licks around his rim slowly the strong tip of his tongue barely making progress through the tight muscle of his ass.

 

"Tough," Louis tells him wiping away saliva from his mouth with the back of his hand. "They might treat me like a Prize Bull but all my children are made out of love," Louis promises. "However small that is."

 

 _Love of licking his ass, perhaps?_ Harry wonders.

 

He can hardly complain when the pleasure is all his but-

 

 _Well_.

 

Harry's never kissed anybody before, he's never met anyone who goes against the grain in _wanting_ to. He's been made to feel his whole life like his urge to love and be loved is something of a sin; something to be ashamed of and never spoken about.

 

But Louis is clearly a rebel, an absolute blatant disregarder of the rules.

 

And Harry figures if he ever _is_ going to kiss anybody then it ought to be someone like Louis.

 

He just has to work out how he's going to make that happen.

 

//

 

"How can you expect to get pregnant if you're not enjoying it?"

 

Apparently, Louis finds it necessary to make conversation while he twists his fingers into Harry to stretch him.

 

Harry hadn't realised how tight he was until Louis appears to have trouble getting him to relax at first.

 

His nerves are at an all-time high shimmering below his tense surface.

 

"You're tensing up again," Louis observes, pulling back a bit.

 

Harry panics that he's not being a good Provider and tells him just to carry on.

 

Louis turns Harry onto his back and re-settles between his thighs. He reaches up to gently tuck Harry's hair back and then curls over to press sweet sucking kisses to his belly.

 

He goes as far as fisting around Harry's arousal and stroking lazily. When Harry shoots him a lax-jawed look Louis merely smiles smugly.

 

Harry's definitely more relaxed. A hand rubs gently into his lower back drawing small circles and moving onto his butt cheek.

 

"Sweet little peach you have there, Harry," Louis smiles. "Think I drew the lucky ticket today..."

 

Harry tries not to think about the weird twist of fate that brought them here to this moment. That brought them together in this way. He closes his eyes and "thinks of England" as his mentor once put it.

 

_'Sometimes you just have to open your thighs and let them thrust.'_

 

He bites his lip and whimpers as two fingers slide back into him.

 

"Jesus Christ!"

 

Louis' rolling from the bed in an angry twist and Harry's blood is running quickly from his face.

 

"Louis, wait!" He sits up naked and begging. "Please! I can do this! Don't tell them about this, I beg of you..."

 

Louis' breathing is hard and ragged and all Harry can think about is that he's got the most beautiful view of his naked back. The best view of his ass.

 

"It's not you I'm angry at," Louis finally speaks with a roughened voice. "It's this fucking system! Teaching you to just take it!" He gestures wildly with his arms.

 

When Louis turns towards him, Harry finds the intensity in his gaze a turn on.

 

"You're so scared you're shaking," Louis accuses and Harry quickly shakes his head in denial but they both know it's true. "You shouldn't be afraid of me. Your first time is supposed to be nice...it’s supposed to be special!"

 

Harry holds out his hand, curling up a bit on the bed one knee bent up, one flat.

 

"I trust you not to hurt me," he offers. "I'm sorry I'm just-" he sighs.

 

Louis crawls onto the bed on his knees, taking Harry's hand and squeezing it.

 

"How about I just come on your ass?" He suggests. "You can lay on your tummy for a bit and let the wrigglers find the jackpot..."

 

Louis' words are so completely absurd that Harry barks out an incredulous laugh. When Louis catches his eye they both smile and Harry giggles, feeling incredibly light headed.

 

Eventually he rolls onto his stomach and widens his thighs a bit.

 

He feels Louis shuffle into the gap between them. He closes his eyes and waits for the inevitable.

 

//

 

"Are you ready to try again?"

 

Louis' question is soft, murmured into Harry's hair the next morning as they slowly wake up. He nods and lets out a throaty hum of agreement.

 

"We're going to try a different position; one that puts you in control..."

 

Louis lays back and gestures for Harry to straddle him.

 

"It's not the best position for getting pregnant..." Harry recites his teachings.

 

Louis gives him a steady stare.

 

"I'm more concerned about _you_ than our potential baby right now..."

 

Harry swallows

 

"I'm not...I've not been taught about-"

 

Louis pats his thigh.

 

"It's easy. You just come and sit on my lap..."

 

Harry flushes from head to toe. And then he moves to straddle Louis' hips just like he's said.

 

Louis is propped on pillows looking extremely relaxed as his hands lift to massage Harry's skin, one pressing into his side and one circling fingers deftly around his nipple.

 

Harry leans forward to grasp Louis shoulders. 

 

"We could both be arrested for this," he whispers lowly.

 

Louis shivers, his smile pressed into Harry's hair.

 

"Is that a promise, sweetheart?"

 

Harry can't help it; something inside him gives way at the endearment. He wraps his arms right around Louis' neck and huffs into his ear.

 

Louis pats his bum.

 

"Mind if I touch you here?"

 

Harry shakes his head. He wouldn't mind if Louis bent him over the dresser and spanked him right now. Suddenly his hormones are gushing and it's in the right way, just how they should be.

 

Louis fingers him slow; like it's all they must achieve this morning and it feels like it's hours later that Harry's settling back on him.

 

He gasps at each inch he takes and he circles his hips when Louis' thick tip catches him within.

 

"Gonna give you a baby," Louis thumbs at his cheek and presses a gentle hand to his flat belly.

 

Harry grinds back until Louis' tight and deep within him and feels like he night explode.

 

"Nice?" Louis asks.

 

Harry nods because it's all he has. He doesn't know words anymore. He shifts his hips and whimpers; lashes fluttering shut.

 

"You're so pretty," Louis whispers softly. "Gonna give you a beautiful baby now..."

 

Harry feels the slow prod, the rise of Louis' hips, the way his hands hold his hips steady even though he tries to work himself on Louis' dick. Despite not knowing this position it seems to come naturally to him.

 

Circle and grind. Circle and grind. Circle and-

 

"O-Oh!"

 

Louis gave a double fuck upwards pressing against something inside that Harry isn't sure yet that he liked.

 

Louis seems determined to prove him wrong, pressing a hand to the base of Harry's throat gently to lay his thumb against Harry's pulse before he repeats the move; staying deep on the second thrust.

 

Harry swallows and moans, decidedly full.

 

"This isn't-"

 

"What they taught you?" Louis smirks. "No, it fucking isn't-"

 

He pushes deep again holding himself there as Harry tries to chase away and fails, melting a bit.

 

"Not for pleasure," he whispers the rules. "Just a rough fuck..."

 

Louis slows right down and screws in with a determined smirk.

 

"Rough enough, baby?"

 

Harry splits his thighs wider to sink down further rutting himself on Louis' dick with impatient rocks of his hips.

 

Louis lets out an uncharacteristically loud noise, more used to perfunctionary, silent sex.

 

"Baby, yes!"

 

They're in sync now, both tuned into the other's pleasure and what's required to fulfil it and it's hot between them; they're sticky with sweat and so incredibly close with fingers clinging into flushed skin.

 

Louis' fingertips claw at Harry's ass cheek trying to get deeper inside and Harry's leaning back to take him every inch he can manage.

 

It's like nuclear power generating; a chain reaction.

 

"H-Harry!" Louis' pulsing into him hot and fast taking Harry by surprise.

 

And then Louis' hand is around him but it's too late, his peak has already been triggered.

 

The breaths they take to come down from it are laboured. Harry is wavering in Louis' lap.

 

"C'mere," Louis reaches for him and Harry curls forward right into his arms. "Baby you did incredible...amazing," Louis kisses his hair and runs his fingers through it lovingly.

 

Harry has one thought as he's settling into Louis' protective embrace.

 

Did Louis service all his Providers this way?

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Sitting with their host family is awkward. Harry glances over at a Louis who is happily scoffing down his dinner.

 

He has his first pregnancy test tomorrow. He and Louis are meant to be mating daily but the last few nights Louis refused to try, favouring massaging Harry's shoulders and back instead.

 

That meant Harry had only had one shot of come that hadn't even gone inside him and one proper release since their first time together.  It wasn't likely he would get pregnant from that and he wondered why Louis was resisting the programme.

 

Maybe he wanted to spend more time here? After all Harry was a new Provider. He'd be given six months to conceive unlike second timers who only had three months before they got kicked out.

 

It was just that Harry didn't want to fail this task or have any reason to feel he hadn't done his very best. If he didn't give this family a baby, he would be considered barren and his pay would be decreased accordingly. He would then get transferred to poorer families who couldn't afford a fertile Provider.

 

He needed the money to send home to his sister, Gemma and his mum, Anne. He needed to save for his own house, too.

 

"Why don't you two go for a stroll?" Simon, the head of the family suggests.

 

Harry looks up so fast his neck cracks. Even Louis' knife and fork pause.

 

"Out?" He checks. "As in out _side_?"

 

Simon chuckles.

 

"I know it's unorthodox, but I want this child to be conceived as naturally as possible," he explains.

 

Louis snorts and Harry stares at him with wide eyes.

 

"Not really possible," he mutters, throwing a charming smile at Simon and Ava. "But I'd love to try..."

 

"Harry?" Simon flicks his gaze to the other man. 

 

Harry clears his throat.

 

"O-Okay," he nods. "If that's what you want..."

 

Louis practically knocks his chair backwards on rising, stretching his arms above his head. Harry's eyes travel down his petite form, bemused that he's already seen Louis naked. That they've already fucked.

 

Not only is everything backwards but it's also forbidden. They can walk around in pairs, of course they can. Studs and Providers often do. But they're never seen interacting. Never seen being friendly. It's not encouraged; their transaction is supposed to be business-like. Wham bam thank you Man.

 

Harry though, can't help blinking at Louis confusedly when the shorter man presses a warm hand into his lower back to guide him along once they break for freedom.

 

Louis smiles at him a bit.

 

"Alright Princess?"

 

Harry finds his smile betraying his annoyance at being labelled by his Stud.

 

"Shall we go by the river since we've got the chance?" Harry asks.

 

Louis takes him by the river and if the trailing willows happen to shroud the nervous clasp of Harry's hand over Louis' and Louis' reciprocating squeeze back then the authorities don't need to know.

 

//

 

They're sitting on the love seat on the front porch; Harry's hand curled around Louis' thigh and Louis' hand curled around his bicep.

 

"Wish I could have a smoke." Louis fidgets and Harry's surprised that's the first time he's moved.

 

He normally can't stay still for more than five seconds.

 

"You smoke?" Harry frowns at him.

 

Louis smirks.

 

"No, I _like_ to smoke," Louis corrects. "Not actually _allowed_ to, am I?" He points out.

 

Harry hums.

 

"It's bad for you anyway. Even if you weren't a Stud."

 

Louis makes a derisive noise.

 

"Stud," he says standing. He wanders to the balcony of the porch bending over to lean on it looking out into the quiet street.

 

Nobody else's Providers are outdoors. They're probably mating like he and Harry should be.

 

"All I know is that I'm not _tall_ enough to be a Stud," Louis muses. "Not _bulky_ enough."

 

He flicks his hair away from his eyes, squinting to the garden.

 

"Normally, I only get picked because I'm lucky enough not to be completely ugly and I’m sure I only got picked for this gig because _you've_ got legs like a giraffe to make up for me..."

 

Harry shifts to get up but hovers on the edge of the seat, afraid of breaking Louis' train of thought.

 

"I've had a good career, don't get me wrong, but fuck it if I don't want to smoke and have a beer just _one_ fucking time," he sighs. "There's no let up. There's no room for "I don't feel like it" or "I don't want to". I have to have sex whether I like it or not," he sighs. "Sometimes I just-"

 

Harry sidles up beside him, subtly curving his hand over Louis' on the rail where he's leaning.

 

"Can we go inside?" He asks.

 

He feels Louis sigh.

 

"Yeah of course," he says it softly and Harry knows Louis thinks he hasn't heard.

 

Inside the house, locked into their room, Harry carefully removes Louis' jeans (since he's shoeless) and he rises only to hug him, big body wrapped around small.

 

He begins to shuffle towards the bed until they fall on it together. Louis makes a squeak as they land and tries to escape Harry's embrace but when Harry throws a leg over him too, he stops with another sigh.

 

It sounds a lot lighter than the first. Breathy.

 

"I don't care if I'm listed as barren," Harry tells him in a slow heavy voice. "I'm not making you have sex with me."

 

"Harry," Louis gushes out with a bemused breath. "It's not _you_...it's not your fault. It is what it is..."

 

At the mention of the phrase Louis has tattooed over his collarbones Harry traces it with soft fingertips. Harry hasn't been taught how to care for somebody but somehow, he _knows_. Like it's coded into him.

 

"I'm sorry about before. You should have said. I thought you wanted to..."

 

"I did," Louis argues with a wry smile. "You're the first actually. That I've wanted to with."

 

"But the last two nights..."

 

Louis swallows and Harry sees it from his vantage point at Louis side.

 

"I had a little boy last time. He was so beautiful. They let me stay until the birth, but I don't know if that's worse," Louis explains. 

 

Harry doesn't know why Louis' being so open with him. Being so heartbreakingly honest. Truthfully, Louis could get himself assigned to hard labour if Harry told. And how does Louis know that Harry won't tell?

 

But Harry is so incredibly grateful for his honesty. It's like breathing the freshest kind of air when all his life he's been stuck in a smog.

 

He's been told to be selfless. Not to think about what he's losing but to think about what he's choosing to give away. The most precious gift anyone can give. He's been told to remember how lucky he is that he can conceive; that he's got this ability when not everyone does. He's been told a lot of things but not one of them will prepare him for having to give his child away...For being deprived of his own baby.

 

He gathers Louis a bit closer and presses a kiss to his hair. It's the first time he's kissed anyone who isn't family.

 

"It's going to be okay."

 

//

 

In Harry's dream world, there's a soft summer breeze scattering over his skin, making him feel shivery in a good way.

 

When he opens his eyes and blinks, it's Louis' breath that's fanning over his face. It's Louis' hand that moves to brace his cheek, thumb sliding into the dimple there as Harry yawns.

 

"Wanna... _you know_?" Louis smiles, the edges of his eyes crinkling as his lips curve upwards. He waggles his brows suggestively, pressing up against Harry's half-asleep form.

 

"What about last night?" Harry asks. Because, well. Last night _happened_ , it wasn't a dream.

 

"Performance nerves," Louis swallows, his smile fading a touch. "I'm all good to go now..."

 

Harry blinks, watching him for signs of lying. He sees them in the way Louis licks his lips, in the way sweat is beading above his thin top lip. In the way Louis has cast his eyes away a bit.

 

But Harry also knows that today is test day and sex now won't magically make him pregnant for the test in a few hours, but it gives him a better chance of conceiving anyway.

 

"Okay," he nods.

 

And he's known about this since he was eight years old, he's known his life has already been mapped out for him, but it feels strange still as he turns over at Louis' request.

 

It feels cold.

 

//

 

Louis is three fingers deep into Harry, gently stretching his rim when he asks, "Harry have you heard about the Other World?"

 

Louis is curved behind him intimately spooning him and his fingers twist nicely inside him.

 

"N-No," he stutters out followed by a satisfied sigh. He pushes his knee up the bed to give Louis more room.

 

"Yeah?" Louis smiles, distracted for a moment as he presses into Harry's back to peek at his face.

 

Harry's cheeks are flushed, his lashes quivering against them as his breaths become quick and weak.

 

"Louis," he whispers.

 

"The Other World is a place you can go and be free," Louis murmurs, using his fingertips to stroke at Harry's walls softly.

 

Harry whimpers and shifts forward a bit more, trying to get onto his front.

 

"People have been killed trying to get across the border but the ones that make it get messages to this side," Louis explains. "They love who they want there. _How_ they want," he adds wistfully.

 

"How is that possible?" Harry wonders, gasping as Louis twists his fingers deeper and brushes a spot inside him that he's never investigated.

 

"You make this so easy," Louis rubs his hardness against Harry's ass-cheek.

 

Harry leans forward but Louis' tugging at the back of his top. When he's turned onto his back again he frowns at the other man. Louis merely smirks and rucks up his tee, licking broad stripes over one nipple followed by the other.

 

Harry groans weakly and curls in on himself but Louis is there weighing him down and spreading him out like a paperweight on curly edges.

 

"Want to see you," Louis murmurs and Harry's mesmerised, really.

 

This is _nothing_ like what he's been taught. His expectations don't involve the sweet tenderness Louis treats him with. He cups Louis' face, brushing a thumb gently over his cheek.

 

"I'm so lucky I got you," he vocalises.

 

Louis manages a small, wan smile.

 

"You deserve to be treated nice," Louis says. "All of the Providers do."

 

Harry shifts a bit at the reminder of Louis' other partners. He settles his lower back into the bed as Louis carefully kneels between his thighs, propping a pillow underneath his hips and curling his arms around Harry's legs to hold their weight.

 

"Do you-" Harry swallows, screwing his eyes shut.

 

 _Fuck_. He's not allowed to ask questions. He almost forgot.

 

"Do I what?"

 

Louis presses kisses down his sternum, onto his belly, suggestively rubbing his hardness against Harry's crack.

 

"Is it like this with all of them?" He bravely asks, sucking in a big breath.

 

Louis pauses his kissing, wraps his arms around Harry's waist tightly and looks at him intensely for a long moment. Harry wonders if he's going to move again when Louis presses a reverent kiss to his forehead.

 

"Not quite like this," he offers, almost shyly. He flicks his eyes down, pressing a kiss to Harry's chest. "Can't say any of the others let me talk like you do."

 

Harry's face brightens and he feels a smile edging his lips. He reaches up to touch Louis' soft hair, letting his fingers get happily lost in it.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I'd probably have been shot by now for some of the things I've told you," he muses. "How do you do that anyway?" He asks.

 

Harry bites his lip with a hitch of breath as Louis reaches beneath him to stroke himself and press his tip to Harry's hole.

 

"I-I don't know," Harry answers honestly.

 

"Me either," Louis muses as he sinks slowly in, tucking his knees against the mattress to get grip. Harry wraps his legs around Louis' waist naturally to help hold his weight there. The look Louis gives him, the firm, slow thrust and the sound from his lips all tell Harry that was a good move to make.

 

Louis presses his palm to Harry's belly as he's taken to doing during sex.

 

"Make you a baby, hm?" He rocks his hips slowly, warming Harry up.

 

Technically sex should always be doggy style, with the Provider's upper body as low to the bed as possible to encourage the sperm to swim down into the uterus. Technically the Stud can fuck the Provider as hard as he wishes, the act is after all merely an insemination. There's no love, no emotions involved.

 

And yet when Harry meets Louis' gaze as he thrusts into him, he arches his back and feels something twist in his chest and then lower, curling in his belly. It's almost like pleasure, like-

 

Louis leans over him and kisses against his ribs with a breathy laugh of incredulity.

 

"I can't believe-!" He whisper-gasps.

 

Harry tightens his thighs around Louis' hips and arches again when Louis' hands cup his butt. He clenches Louis inside him, too, just to see-

 

"Ha-oh!" Louis triple-thrusts into him, staying deep as he catches his shaky breath.

 

"Nobody has to know," Harry whispers, curling one hand around Louis' bicep to press a thumb there gently.

 

The way Louis is holding his own weight on his arms is making his muscles bulge beautifully. Harry lets his other hand cup the back of Louis' neck.

 

"What, that we like _doing_ _it_?" Louis mumbles, starting up a slow rhythm again with a bitten-off groan.

 

Harry nods and pushes his hips carefully against Louis' to bring them closer together, a whole other dimension added now that Louis isn't the sole instigator of their union.

 

"We'll be careful, Louis," he promises against Louis' ear when Louis dips his head into the crook of Harry's neck. "Nobody will know..."

 

Louis will have to leave sometime of course. He's a Stud and he'll have a new family as soon as Harry falls pregnant. When Simon and Ava want their second child they can select Louis to be the father again or they can choose another Stud. Harry knows he could be dismissed in favour of another Provider in the same way Louis can, but Simon expressed his preference to have the same parents for all his children, and so Harry hopes he can give them the child they want to secure his place here.

 

"Harry...you ok?" Louis has stopped, is looking at him with a concerned frown that Harry clings onto.

 

At least one human in this sad world cares how he feels. He's tensed up, is miles away in his own mind he knows.

 

"Sorry," he murmurs, willing himself to relax. He looks down his body to his half-interested dick. He's not allowed to take his own pleasure while he's being impregnated but-

 

"You want to touch?" Louis asks.

 

Harry's eyes widen and he shakes his head vigorously.

Louis breathes out a chuckle, his smile lighting up his beautiful face as he leans back in, sliding deep again. This time he takes one arm off the bed and curls it, wrapping his small digits around Harry's dick.

 

"Better?" Louis asks.

 

Harry makes a noise in his throat and strokes fingertips into the hair at Louis' nape, squeezing his bicep in affirmation. Louis strokes him and thrusts in the same movement. Harry lets out a whine, never having felt someone else touch him before. It’s _incredible_. Like the darkest sweetest feeling curling up inside. It's that sensation in his belly, whirling slow and sweet.

 

"L-Louis..."

 

"Shh," Louis strokes him slow like the way he fucks. "Nobody needs to know, right?" He murmurs. "We promised..."

 

Harry closes his eyes and lets out a weak noise of agreement.

 

Nobody needs to know.

 

//

 

The pregnancy testing is always done by blood sample to get the most accurate result.

 

The Cowell's arrange to have a doctor visit the house since their finances allow it and it's while Doctor Liam Payne is withdrawing a small vial of blood that the pained screeching cries of a citizen are heard outside.

 

Louis is stood by the window with his hands in his pockets while the testing occurs, so he turns to focus his gaze outside, squinting as the scene unfolds.

 

A man has been apprehended by the Rulers, forced to his knees in the grass on the lawn of the residence about three houses up and opposite.

 

A lash has been drawn, the man's top ripped up and his back being punished. The skin is red raw already, blood appearing as his cries fade out to grimacing expressions.

 

"What's going on?" Harry asks, trying to be patient with the test.

 

The doctor presses a small plaster to the tiny hole in his arm and Harry thanks him quietly.

 

"I'll go and find out," Simon offers as Louis looks to move to investigate. "Louis, stay with Harry," he adds.

 

Harry stands up and walks to the window to look, frowning as the scene feeds through his consciousness. The apprehended male is now laid on the grass writhing in pain and the neighbours are gathering.

 

One of the Rulers lifts a megaphone. It screeches as the static settles.

 

"Citizens of CommonLaw," he calls. "We have identified a breach of Rule 406 at this property. Let it be known that any disobedience will be punished."

 

"Rule 406?" Harry glances at Louis.

 

Louis swallows.

 

"Public Expression of Affection," he provides softly.

 

"What? But we haven't seen-"

 

"It's the Taylor's Stud," Simon steps back into the house and closes the door. "Apparently he was out there kissing Naomi, the Gregg's daughter. He's supposed to be servicing their Provider and-"

 

Simon pauses when Harry flinches.

 

 _Servicing_.

 

Yes, that's what they do. Providers get 'serviced'. There's nothing more to it, there's no hope for love or affection. Those emotions are only things Harry has read about or has heard of ~~about~~. He's never experienced them himself in a romantic sense.

 

"Harry, sorry I shouldn't have-"

 

Harry bolts. He pushes past Simon and throws the front door open to escape.

 

He wasn't meant for this life, he's becoming quite sure. He's always been benign, been willingly platonic and just taken what's been handed to him throughout his life. But what is this world where people are left bleeding and hurt over _feeling_ something?

 

He finds the Stud laid in the grass, abandoned.

 

"Are you okay?" He asks with a croak in his voice, tears balanced on his lashes.

 

"Go," the man whispers. "Before they thrash you too..."

 

"They won't," Harry swallows. Another grand unfairness. "I'm a Provider."

 

Provider's aren't harmed in any way unless it's known they are barren just in case the physical harm threatens their fertility. Right now, Harry doesn't feel as relieved by that as he probably should be because it still means people are being hurt for no reason.

 

"What can I do to help?" He asks.

 

"Get back to your Stud," the man directs. "You could risk your placement by talking to me..."

 

"I'm not going to leave you like this," Harry states. "Either I carry you to a place where you know you'll be safe or you direct me on how to heal you..."

 

"Harry," The voice comes from behind him, a hand placed on his shoulder.

 

"I'm not leaving him," he says. He knows its Louis, he can feel the thrum of his energy.

 

"Simon's said to bring him in so the Doctor can have a look," Louis explains.

 

Harry looks up over his shoulder.

 

"As my Stud do you have a problem with me carrying him?"

 

Louis shakes his head.

 

Harry carefully picks up the injured man and settles him in his arms.

 

"What's your name?" He asks as he begins to walk.

 

Louis follows up behind him with a gentle hand on his back.

 

"Lucas," the man supplies.

 

Harry carries him over the threshold and lays him carefully down on the sofa that has been covered with a sheet.

 

He looks at Simon as the doctor moves to check over the injured man.

 

"Harry, I'm sorry...it was insensitive of me to say what I said...you know I don't just see you and Louis as-"

 

"Am I permitted to go for a walk?" He asks.

 

Simon nods.

 

"You know you're free to roam."

 

Harry smirks bitterly at that and turns back towards the door.

 

"Hey, can I come?" Louis' bright voice asks behind him.

 

Harry doesn't say no.

 

//

 

It's almost galling that Louis is trailing him while he stalks out his anger and he can't even take one ounce of physical comfort from the man he's coming to see as his lifeline.

 

He's not sure why Louis wanted to follow him around in his current mood but he's here and that's all that matters.

 

Harry eventually runs out of steam and finds a quiet place to sit. There's a huge Willow by the river so he climbs the bank to find the roots; settling among them with his back against the thick trunk.

 

Louis stands and watches him for a minute, fiddling with his hands.

 

"You can sit down," Harry says eventually.

 

Louis picks his way through the gnarly roots and sits beside Harry.

 

"I could have gotten thrashed like that," Louis says thoughtfully. "If anyone had seen us walking here? Or on the porch..."

 

"I know," Harry nods, his voice low.

 

"I don't know if I can live like this," he admits.

 

Harry swallows, leaning back. Louis wriggles a bit as their shoulders rub, Harry's wider than his own.

 

"You can try and make a run for it," Harry suggests.

 

Louis flicks him an amused grin.

 

"You think I'd make it?"

 

Harry can't help the slow smile that grows across his own lips.

 

"I think you would," he votes.

 

Louis lets out a chuckle and shakes his head. He looks side to side, checking the coast before he reaches for Harry's hand. Harry's hand is a dead-weight at first, resisting the touch and then Louis' fingertips brush slowly against his own feeling almost ticklish in their light application.

 

Harry lets his hand relax and curl around the other man's. It's a minimal touch, both too scared to risk getting caught doing more but they lean together, heads touching.

 

"Promise me something?" Harry murmurs, his hair sticking to Louis' as he fidgets.

 

"What's that, sweetheart?"

 

"If you do decide to run ... take me with you?" His brows furrow as the words leave his lips, his teeth biting into the lower one already as if to stop the sentence he's already spoken, as if to stop the sentiment behind it.

 

"Harry, aren't you happy here?" Louis twists a bit to try and look at him, but Harry just gives a humourless huff of chuckle and twists his lips. "Remember what you said to me?" Louis asks instead.

 

Harry shakes his head.

 

Louis squeezes his hand.

 

"It'll be okay."

 


	3. Chapter 3

Harry isn't pregnant.

 

Despite their casual air so far, the Cowell's are still disappointed at the test results and they tell Louis they're staying over at a friend's house for the weekend.

 

Louis accepts the news benignly but inside something is pushing to break out of his chest.

 

It's not fair on Harry at all. He's a Virgin provider who's in his second week of his first placement. It's too soon to test anyway; Louis had never understood the rules and felt it was just another way to enforce dominance over the citizens.

 

It seems to have worked. Harry disappeared into their room after the test result and refused to come out for dinner. Louis decided to keep his distance for a time since Simon and Ava kept him engaged in post-test discussion until they left.

 

When Louis lets the door click shut behind them, he climbs the stairs and knocks on the bedroom door.

 

Silence meets him from behind.

 

"Harry? Can I come in?"

 

"It's your room too," is what he hears.

 

Louis lets himself in.

 

Harry is curled in the entire duvet, his long hair bunched up at his neck, his body curved protectively.

 

"Harry...it's only been two weeks," Louis soothes.

 

Louis hears the sniffling before Harry's hand comes up to rub his pink nose, his face turning further away from Louis into the pillow.

 

"It's the way they looked at me!" Harry expresses, voice raw as he hiccups uncontrollably. "Like I've failed somehow, like I'm not good enough!"

 

Louis sits on the edge of the bed but looks away from Harry, placing his hands on his knees as he studies the bare wall.

 

"They've been trying for five years. They're bound to be disappointed even if it's unreasonable to be," Louis explains.

 

Harry fidgets; sniffling some more.

 

"What-What did they say to you downstairs?"

 

Louis sighs, rolling backwards and sideways until he curves in behind the other man.

 

"It doesn't matter," Louis trails fingers through his hair, two of them gently combing out the brunette length. If he discovers a curl, he gently tweezers his fingers to place it carefully atop the rest of the waves.

 

"Tell me," Harry insists. "I need to know if I'm not wanted here."

 

"Harry!"  Louis smiles, laughing lightly at his morose dramatics. "You're wanted, okay? You're not even giving yourself a chance here..."

 

"Then tell me what they really think," Harry begs.

 

Louis swallows, propping against Harry's duvet-padded side.

 

"They had a last-minute invite to spend the weekend with their friends and they think it's the perfect opportunity for you and me to get busy like bunnies," Louis purses his lips in amusement of his own words.

 

"They left?" Harry twists in his cocoon to frown at Louis. "They hate me that much that they just left?"

 

Louis rubs his arm and leans over to kiss his temple.

 

"They don't hate you. They've waited this long so a few more months won't hurt."

 

"Who gets pregnant in two weeks anyway?" Harry accuses with a huff; plopping back down with his arms folded tensely.

 

"Exactly!" Louis cheers, flopping down onto Harry's duvet tube.

 

Harry tries to elbow him off.

 

"Don't, okay?" He mumbles. Louis bites into the duvet and pulls with a growl. "Louis don't-"

 

"Grrrrr...."

 

"Stop being silly. I'm not laughing you know. You're not funny..."

 

Louis bares his teeth and makes eye contact with a low growl, yanking harder on the bedding when Harry just stares.

 

"Louis what's- what's gotten _into_ you?" Harry sighs, rolling his eyes as Louis noses at his cheek, playfully licking it.

 

"Rrr-ruff!" Louis yaps, convincingly dog-like.

 

Harry blinks, open mouthed in shock until-

 

"Rrrrrrr-ruff!"

 

"Oh my god!" Harry clicks suddenly covering his face with big hands and a smile breaks out big and dimpled. He giggles. "Tramp! You're being Tramp!"

 

Louis sits back on his haunches, elbows pressed into his body and hands curled.

 

"The question is, are you going to be Lady?" Louis asks.

 

Harry awkwardly wriggles onto his back, reaching for Louis and pulling him down onto his chest. He holds him tight; pressing a firm kiss into his hair.

 

"I'll be Lady, Louis, don't worry," he murmurs when Louis stops kicking.

 

//

 

"So..." Louis claps his hands together when Harry finally makes it out of bed and into the kitchen.

 

The sound surprises Harry a bit as he's not expecting anyone to be lying in wait for him.

 

"Wh-" He begins to ask as his eyes trail down Louis' aproned front; a selection of ingredients and mixing bowls on the counter along with various utensils.

 

"We're making pancakes," Louis announces before Harry's even asked the question. "I mean I've never made anything before in my life but..."

 

As a Stud, Louis would be used to having all his meals provided. Harry's role was more domestic and some Providers acted as a housekeeper whilst getting pregnant, but Ava took care of all the meals in the Cowell household.

 

She seemed obsessed with ensuring Harry's meals were all nutritionally balanced and healthy. He didn't exactly crave chocolate, but it had been a long time since he'd last eaten it. He'd managed to sneak the odd bar while being trained for his placement, but he missed his mum indulging him.

 

Still he was getting paid to eat whatever he was given, and that money was banking up for his getaway fund. After five years of placements he would be allowed a holiday to rejuvenate his body and he already knew where he wanted to go.

 

"I know how to make them..." Harry says stepping forward to take over the activity.

 

"Ah-ah-ahh," Louis puts a hand out to get him to stop; his palm facing out. "I'm making these. You can just...sit and tell me what to do," Louis suggests.

 

Harry smirks turning the cook book towards himself and opening it to the index to find the recipe.

 

"Do you have flour, milk and eggs?" He asks.

 

Louis nods with a hum.

 

"I found blueberries in the fridge too....oh and-" he holds up a bag of chocolate drops. "These!"

 

Harry's face slowly morphs into a smile.

 

"I was just thinking how long it's been since I had chocolate..."

 

"It's good for fertility," Louis smirks. "Feel-good factor."

 

Harry nods, drawing shapes on the table with his fingertip. 

 

"Need all the help I can get?" He mumbles.

 

Louis reaches over and ruffles his hair.

 

"Shush don't start that again. You're going to have many beautiful children, Harry Styles. Look at you...you're like a top grade filly..."

 

Harry snorts and uncurls from his seat, edging around the table to press his arm into Louis'.

 

"Do you need some help?"

 

Louis' wide nodding makes him giggle.

 

//

 

Harry had measured things while Louis had mixed.

 

He didn't know what a whisk was until Harry showed him, but it softened Harry's frayed nerves a bit. Made him feel useful in the tiniest of ways.

 

They share the pancakes from one plate with a fork each clashing metal over the table to dominate. The melted chocolate drops feel like hot sticky heaven on Harry's tongue.

 

He flicks his eyes up to study Louis as he eats, his mind unnaturally turning toward another kind of hot stickiness touching his tongue.

 

He's never had a blow job ; has never given one. It's considered abnormal to _like_ it or to _want_ to do it. Harry wants to give Louis a blowjob, but that precious sperm is meant to be swimming its way to his womb to fertilise his eggs.

 

He wonders how Louis tastes, is he sour and bitter or a little bit sweet?

 

Louis is tonguing a piece of cooked batter when he notices Harry's gaze.

 

"Everything okay there, Princess?" Louis asks.

 

Harry dips his head at the nick-name. He's been caught out, been caught staring and it's silly but it's embarrassing.

 

"You want to ask me something?" Louis says as Harry stays quiet, shuffling his feet on the kitchen stool foot-rest.

 

Harry shrugs. There's so much he wants to ask Louis, but he can't.

 

"Come on, out with it," Louis teases with a twinkly-eyed smile.

 

Harry's never met anyone with stars in their eyes and the sun in their smile. Life is regular. No peaks, no troughs just- _steady_.

 

Seeing different emotions so openly expressed on Louis' handsome face is still something of a surprise to Harry, and the best thing Harry has ever witnessed. He wonders if he can express his emotions the same way one day.

 

"It's _forbidden_ ," Harry mumbles almost to himself. "Just thinking about things I shouldn't."

 

Louis' brow arches and his hand reaches for Harry's knee and lands there.

 

"We all have forbidden thoughts, Harry," he assures.

 

Harry smiles nearly a full smile, shy and hidden but deep with dimples.

 

"I'll tell you another time," he promises but he doesn't know that he will.

 

Louis nods his acceptance of Harry's reticence to share his secrets.

 

"Another time, then."

 

//

 

"Say something..."

 

Harry is face down ~~to~~ on the bed, thighs parted delicately while Louis eases into him. It's a stretch to take his thickness but it's a nice stretch.

 

"Say what?" Louis murmurs near his ear, pressing a kiss to his shoulder blade and working his hips to sink deeper.

 

"I don't know..." Harry murmurs; his voice low and weak. Louis is a pleasant weight on his back, but he feels him move to kneel between his thighs, his knees pressing inside of Harry's to push them apart.

 

It gives Louis more room and leverage to bear down. Harry gasps as he spasms and clenches hot heat inside. He tries to bite away the sound he makes but it's too strong, looking for freedom in the quiet air around them.

 

His moan brings a responding noise from Louis who pulls back and thrusts slowly inside.

 

"Please..." Harry reminds him of his breathy request.

 

"What do you want me to say, sweetheart?" Louis flexes his hands on Harry's sides gliding them up and down before anchoring on his hips.

 

"Anything," Harry all but begs desperately.

 

Maybe Louis doesn't know how. Maybe he really hasn't done this before. _Talked sexy_.

 

"You want me to tell you how I like it?" Louis guesses nuzzling the back of Harry's long hair.

 

When his nose creates a path between those dark strands, Louis licks the back of his neck. Harry's hips lift off the bed and push back.

 

"Oh god, sorry," Harry presses his face into his forearm. "I'm sorry, I-"

 

"Wanna hear how it's you that gets me like this?" Louis cuts off Harry's words, too soft to be heard. "It's you who gets me hot and hard..."

 

Harry moans higher and widens his thighs to try and press his knees to the bed, gently pushing back as Louis thrusts into him. He feels Louis' hand roam his skin up his spine then low against his hips, against his backside.

 

"Want to hear how it's _you_ I want? That none of this is about the fucked-up world we live in and it's all about how hard you make me...?"

 

Louis sinks in and circles his hips. Harry's breath catches.

 

"Can you feel how hard I am?"

 

Harry nods, wriggling his hips but Louis holds him tight, slowly laying himself on Harry's back and flicking his hips to screw into him deeply.

 

"How about the fact I want to look at you?" Louis whispers. "Want to see your face when you come...see how blissful you look when I fuck you...?"

 

Harry wishes he had semblance to tell Louis he's really good at this talking thing. It's something they've both discovered Harry likes in the last few days since Simon and Ava came back.

 

"Is that what you want me to say, Harry?"

 

Harry nods while trying to move himself and Louis, but he's weighed down, so he flounders.

 

"What do you want?" Louis asks leaning back slightly.

 

"Can I-" Harry swallows his words, dipping his chin and shaking his head. 

 

He can't ask for anything, he's not allowed. Louis strokes his hair gently while they get back onto their knees; doggy style.

 

"Can you what Harold?" Louis murmurs.

 

"No never mind."

 

"Think you know I'm not going to report you," Louis reasons. "Tell me, baby."

 

Harry takes a deep breath.

 

"What if you lean back and I..."

 

He stops letting out his breath. It's not the approved position; his body will be vertical which isn't the most conducive to pregnancy. Louis feels so good inside him that he doesn't care in that moment. Maybe ever.

 

"Y-Yeah, sure," Louis' stutter is testament to how much he likes the idea.

 

He's shuffling closer on his knees, slipping out of Harry until Harry braces his legs around Louis' that are behind. 

 

Louis sits back on his haunches, bum touching feet.

 

"Come sit on my lap Harold," Louis invites in a low murmur; half teasing half serious.

 

Harry tries to line up but he's shaking and so near. It takes Louis' strong hands to arrange him. One goes around his dick to anchor him, the other guides Louis' heat back to his hole.

 

"Sit on my lap," Louis repeats softly.

 

The feel of Louis guiding into him is hot and sweet with a mild sting that vanishes when Louis strokes his hardness.

 

"Hmm," Harry can hear the smile in Louis' satisfied hum. "That's so good..."

 

Harry goes about it carefully so as not to slip and then he's there sitting on Louis' thick heat and gasping for air.

 

"Feel how much I want this?" Louis asks.

 

Harry's shaking still, still struggling for air. 

 

"I-ca-Oh...okay, Jesus...."

 

Louis binds both his arms around Harry's middle and fucks up into him. Harry grasps his wrists, nowhere else to hold onto while Louis thrusts deep but not hard. He's never too hard. Harry knows he's lucky to have a Stud like Louis.

 

"What's the longest?" He whispers rocking back against him.

 

"Longest for what?" Louis brushes back his fallen fringe. "This?"

 

"No...getting a Provider pregnant. What's the longest?"

 

Louis loosens one arm to twist around Harry's dick again, teeth grazing his skin.

 

"Don't want you to think about anything but how good this feels okay?"

 

Harry nods and it's blinding white lights that finally wipe his mind of his worries and insecurities. It's pleasure of indescribable amounts that flush over him leaving his thighs quivering.

 

He doesn't know why he starts crying. Maybe because it's so good.

 

He feels his body being laid gently down and strong arms surrounding him, soft hushes breathed into his hair.

 

"Sweetheart, I'll look after you, I promise..."

 

Harry reaches up and curls the body closer, humming as the other human's heat mingles with his own.


	4. Chapter 4

It's morning and Harry can hear the Cowell's downstairs.

 

Louis is sleeping beside him and he wonders if they're leaving them alone for fear of disturbing any sexual activities that they might be partaking in.

 

Harry can't help his slow, tender smile in remembering last night.

 

If Louis feels like doing it all over again this morning, Harry is willing.

 

"So," Louis' voice shoots out huskily; bringing Harry's gaze to his face sharply. He hasn't opened his eyes as Harry suspected. He still looks like he's asleep.

 

The way Louis' lips curve at the very edges suggest he's aware of his effect on Harry from surprising him. Louis stretches and Harry's eyes follow his navel.

 

"So," Harry repeats more lowly, his own voice sleep-roughened.

 

"You gonna tell me about these filthy thoughts of yours or what?"

 

One eyelid opens, a mischievous blue eye peeking out. Louis' arms are above his head, crossed casually.

 

Harry rolls his eyes. He likes this feeling, he can't deny it. Waking up to a beautiful man with a breath-taking smile and an open-ness Harry still hasn't come to fully understand since he's never been exposed to it before.

 

"It's embarrassing." Harry says for lieu of the truth, stalling for time.

 

Louis' lips quirk up on one side.

 

"Trade you," he offers softly, his voice changing as he watches Harry blush. "Trade you for one of my own embarrassing forbidden thoughts."

 

Harry looks at him, testing if he trusts Louis' word.

 

"I was thinking about how I've never given anyone a blowjob," he admits candidly, although quiet and soft.

 

He looks around to make sure the Cowells haven't burst into the room un-noticed.

 

"I was just wondering what it's like."

 

Louis looks suitably bemused.

 

"Have you ever had one?" Harry asks anyway.

 

Louis rolls over a bit to fix Harry with his intense gaze. His lips quirk. He crawls closer and gently pushes Harry back into the bed. Harry frowns and quickly tries to extricate himself from Louis' owning body, but kisses are being pressed softly into his belly and Louis knows, he _knows_ not to do that...

 

"Lou!" He gasps as quietly as he can manage, fingers clutching at his scalp.

 

Louis merely smiles and hums, pressing his lips against Harry's hip as he works his shorts band downwards.

 

"Louis, you _can't_! Jesus, I wasn't _hinting_ ," he whispers loudly.

 

Louis kisses the base of his dick and Harry groans, going plaint and hard in the same instant.

 

"Oh, someone's keen," Louis teases, fisting around him and licking Harry's hardening dick into his mouth.

 

It's hot and tight and there's a tongue wrapped around him that moves, sometimes soft and fluttery and sometimes hard and licking and Harry can't concentrate on anything but the pounding of blood around his own veins as every nerve ending turns to live-wire.

 

Louis appears to be an absolute expert at the oral pleasure and Harry can't quite believe he's making it through this life with this experience in his sexual library.

 

For ten years he's been taught that pleasure is not something to fall victim to, he's been taught that sex is the means to an end. And yet here, right now, with a tight fist around his base and a wet tongue flicking over his tip he can't argue that pleasure is most definitely a master to submit to.

 

It feels incredible. It feels like he has the best dick in the world with Louis sucking at him keenly. It feels like the sweetest kind of happy; sharper than the pleasure of eating ice-cream and more intense than receiving a massage.

 

It doesn't take long, just the feel of Louis' cheek brushing fleshy against his sensitive tip and the tightness of his sucked cheeks drawing him on. He feels so hard, his skin tight and hot and he's writhing to shed some layers only there's nothing to take off, he's already naked except for his shorts.

 

When his hips ramp up he hears Louis let out a surprised squeak but then he's back, strong hands holding down his squirming body as his mouth brings him to the highest peak.

 

"L-Louis...I-oh! I can't! Oh, God, I-"

 

Louis humming around him is what brings him crashing down in an explosion of pleasure.

 

"Oh-oh god..."

 

"Shh..." Louis reaches up to press a hand over Harry's mouth, swallowing his come apparently.

 

Harry knows he's making too much noise but it's so _good_ , everything feels so good...

 

"That's...it's..." He babbles breathlessly, legs feeling heavy in the aftermath of his orgasm. His thighs are still shaking from his release.

 

"Nice?" Louis suggests, carefully pulling Harry's shorts back up and lying beside him once more.

 

"So intense," Harry describes finally. "I can see why they banned it..."

 

"God forbid we experience pleasure," Louis rolls his eyes, his words quiet.

 

Harry glances over.

 

"Have you before?" He wonders. "With any of your Providers?"

 

Louis takes too long to reply, just looking at him through slow blinking lashes. He drops his gaze to the mattress where his fingertips draw meaningless pictures.

 

"No. Not really."

 

Harry shifts onto his side, bending his arm to rest his head on.

 

"Then how do you know about all these things?" Harry wonders.

 

Louis wriggles his hips and a hand slips down to adjust himself in his own sleep shorts, bringing a frown to Harry's face. Louis is hard, too. Something they've done has aroused him and it makes his body tingle in knowing it.

 

"It doesn't matter," Louis brushes off Harry's question with a small, wistful smile.

 

He rolls into his back with the intention of getting up only Harry's arm weighs across his middle.

 

"I want to please you, too," Harry states softly, like he's afraid of the words.

 

Louis' smile is brittle. He twists to kiss Harry's forehead.

 

"Let us both not get in trouble," he murmurs before sliding from under Harry's arm and heading for the bathroom.

 

Harry watches him go with an aggrieved look.

 

//

 

 

 

"So, what was yours, then?"

 

Harry and Louis are curled up in the cushioned, wide wicker chairs in the garden, the circular bases fitting their relaxed bodies.

 

Dinner had been a bit weird. Ava had made a thing out of Harry eating the edamame and mung beans she'd served despite him not liking either.

 

His stomach already felt tense with silent accusation, so his appetite isn't the best of late and the last thing he needs is to be forced to eat beans.

 

Louis had mashed his up with the fish, so Harry copied him. He really didn't see what the big deal was; a few beans weren't going to magically grow a baby.

 

"My what?" Louis finally answers after watching the frown etch over Harry's face while he's deep in thought.

 

"Your embarrassing forbidden thought." Harry reminds.

 

"Hah!" Louis laughs loud and hard once covering his mouth with his small hand.

 

Harry looks at him curiously, a dimpled smile hedging at his lips.

 

Louis looks around them both sighing out amongst his own grin.

 

"Look I never promised to be anyone's hero, okay? I'm no white knight..."

 

"You're a prime Stud though," Harry says and it wasn't meant to be funny, but Louis can't help his giggle.

 

"I have so many forbidden thoughts," Louis starts quietly with a sigh. "Ranging from having freedom to you know...sex."

 

"I think it's only fair you share a sex one since I did," Harry rules.

 

Louis smirks.

 

"Does that mean I get it done to me?"

 

Harry feels his cheeks warm.

 

"If you-if you want..."

 

Louis' smile softens.

 

"Harry come on," he scoffs. "I'd never expect that."

 

"You can though," Harry assures quickly. "It's part of the-"

 

"Rules, I know," Louis cuts across him bitterly with a grimace, his eyes dark.

 

"Sorry I was just-"

 

"Doing what you've been told to do," Louis fills in the blank. "That's what hurts," he adds. "That you've been told to put somebody else's happiness before your own..."

 

" _Everybody_ else's..." Harry adjusts slightly, as if this is the first time he's thought about it.

 

Louis watches him with a curious squint. Harry licks his lips.

 

"Don't think you're distracting me into forgetting," he teases lightly.

 

Louis lets out a breath with a grin, shaking his head.

 

"I would never," Louis assures. "And well...my forbidden sexy thoughts are a lot simpler than you probably think..."

 

Harry clears his throat a bit, curling deeper into the chair.

 

Louis looks up behind them towards the house before rolling his eyes.

 

"I like the idea of 69's you know?" Louis whispers, rushed like a secret but accompanied by a smile.

 

Harry's eyes widen because 69's are old news, something people don't even _think_ about let alone _talk_ about. He imagines Louis giving him a blow-job while he plays with Louis' ass or the other way around and his mind feels boggled by the images flashing in it; bringing Louis' words to vivid life.

 

"What would you do?" He asks, also checking around.

 

Louis arches a brow. "I like...you know...putting my tongue in a guy..."

 

"Inside?" Harry gapes. "Like all the way in? Like you do with fingers?"

 

"Shh!" Louis hisses a giggle out, his body rocking from laughter. "You'll have me lashed over," he jokes.

 

Harry's face pales as he nods and sucks in his bottom lip, chastised.

 

"Hey," Louis pokes him with his toes. "Don't go quiet."

 

"I don't know what to say," Harry mumbles.

 

"Because you don't know," Louis allows. "You don't know because they don't want you to..."

 

Harry nods, poking his own toe into Louis' shin.

 

"Will you teach me?" He asks.

 

Louis smirks.

 

"I already am, aren't I?"

 

Harry hums, feeling decidedly tingly and warm.

 

"We should probably...um," Harry uncurls himself a bit in the seat, ready to get up. "If you uh..."

 

Louis flicks his eyes across to narrow them at Harry, not entirely un-cat like.

 

"I'm good for it," he states, almost defensively.

 

Harry stands up to stretch, catching sight of another man around his age across the garden's divide.

 

"Oh, hello!" He calls with a wave.  "Hello there!"

 

Louis doesn't rise from his seat but he pokes a curious head up even though he has no chance of seeing from his angle lower down.

 

"Good afternoon," the guy greets.

 

"I'm Harry, nice to meet you."

 

 The man quickens over to the gap in the fence, whispering.

 

"Are you a Provider, too?"

 

Harry smiles and nods.

 

"I am."

 

The guy swallows nervously.

 

"I need to-I need to ask you something..."

 

Harry shuffles closer to the fence, making their exchange more private.

 

Louis glances over with interest, biting his lip to curb any urge he has to speak.

 

"Are you okay?" Harry asks. The guy doesn't look quite right, doesn't look right at all really.

 

He's shaking his head, hands quivering as they grip the wood dividing them.                          

 

"Does it hurt?" He whispers quietly, eyes fixed on the fence. "You know, when he-"

 

Harry gulps.

 

Because no, it has never hurt. Louis has made sure of that, has gone out of his way to ensure the opposite in fact, but if this guy, this Provider, is being hurt then what can Harry say? It's how it's supposed to be, it's how he was told it would be.

 

"Just try and relax," he murmurs back, face twisting with sympathy. "Loosen yourself up before he-"

 

Harry's words are cut off by the stark appearance of another man; a man with dark eyes and a stiff posture. He's pretty sure this is the Stud.

 

"Hi," he waves meekly, stepping away from the fence.

 

"I'm ready." The new man says to the guy in front of Harry who's hollowed out eyes call to his soul.

 

He turns to join his Stud and Harry watches with wide eyes, heart pounding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your loveliness and continued support. I am never sure if you like to hear more from me or are happy with the brief inserts. Let me know :)


	5. Chapter 5

The only time Harry truly gets to himself is either when he's using the bathroom or the brief, blissful moments he enjoys before the sun rises when he curls up on the swing seat on the front porch.

 

Ava wakes early and starts molly-coddling him, worrying about how cold he's getting so his alone-time is greatly reduced thanks to her fussing.

 

It's in the shower then, that Harry first lets his hands re-discover himself for the first time since becoming placed with his family.

 

At home he's been able to wank himself off at rare opportunities but now he feels trapped somehow, he feels a bit like a fish swimming around a bowl with everyone looking in.

 

Louis was right. He's never been taught to enjoy pleasure. He's never been encouraged to be sensual. As he strokes his shaky hands down his torso and onto his thighs he can almost imagine what it would feel like to be kissed there- to be _caressed_.

 

He lifts one hand to circle a quivering finger around his nipple, one eye open checking the door as if someone might burst in despite the fact he'd locked it. The sweet dip in his belly isn't as sharp thanks to his paranoia but he takes a breath and tried again, closing both eyes this time.

 

He groans at the tug he feels low in his stomach, brushing his hand over the muscles under his belly button. They flex under his fingertips as he shifts, pushing his face into the water and letting himself imagine.

 

_Want me to tell you how pretty you look?_

 

He almost has to check that Louis isn't in the room, his imagination had conjured such a sharp likeness of Louis' voice. He bites his lip and lets his fingertips fall nervously to his dick.

 

_Touch then, I want to see you..._

 

Harry closes his hand around himself, trembling slightly and letting out a choked sound. It's barely contact, not even the right side of sexy but it's something. It's a reminder that he is alive, his own self and nobody else's.

 

He tightens his hand, stroking slowly. He lets his mind do the work of pretending it is Louis' hand surrounding him, bringing him to life. It's indulgent, the urge to come for the sake of coming but it also feels incredibly freeing.

 

Harry feels submerged somehow, shouting out and silenced by the water drowning him and only one person is his life-line rescuing him from certain death.

 

_Want to feel how hard you make me? Feel how much I want you?_

"Ah-ah!" Harry fucks up into his fist; immediately biting down on his lip.

 

If he closes his eyes tight enough he can feel Louis's hands curving around his ass-cheeks, his lips pressing to his hip before he hovers, waiting.

 

"Please," Harry whispers into the roar of water, tightening his hand and whipping quickly at the head.

 

The water tumbling down on him helps breathe the illusion, helps his mind to wander and somewhere in the dark part of his mind, Louis' tongue is on him, sliding up the underside of his now-hard dick, readying himself to swallow.

 

He has to bite on his free hand to temper a wanton cry, choking out a whimper and gasping quickly after, his breath falling in hard pants now.

 

"Louis..." He begs in a whisper, thrusting his hips to fuck into his hand in reality and in fantasy, fuck into Louis' open mouth.

 

He'd told Louis he's never had a blow job and Louis had given him one and now his mind is obsessed. It isn't enough to have _one_ experience to quench his thirst; his desire has only been fed for more.

 

Something flashes into his mind, hot and stark and so very real. He and Louis, curled around each other, Louis' tongue flicking out to sink into him; his own lips tight around Louis' base and Harry knew then that he wanted to do that; he wanted to make Louis' forbidden thoughts real.

 

"F-f-" His speech is stuttered, sloppy and cut through with 'ah's' of pleasure as his body peaks, surprisingly fast and final with hardly any stimulation.

 

His eyes snap open the second he stops shooting, his breathing heavy and laboured and his ears ringing with the blood rushing through.

 

Fuck. What if someone has heard him? He'll be flogged.

 

He instantly washes himself off and stumbles out of the shower, drying himself quickly and slipping on his designated robe (with his name embroidered into the baby blue towelling) before opening the en-suite door and staring out into the bedroom.

 

Louis is inconspicuously folding his clothes and placing them in the chest of draws.

 

"Hi." Harry says, his cheeks flushing tellingly.

 

Louis' lips purse but he doesn't turn towards Harry.

 

"Hey there. All clean?" He asks.

 

Harry stares at him for a long moment. He can still feel the memory of Louis' body on his own. The brush and grasp of his little hands. The wiry burn of his beard. The thick, almost bruising fill from Louis' dick against his rim. It all makes him throb, remembering.

 

And it isn't supposed to. It's supposed to be functional. It's supposed to be-

 

"What time's dinner?" Harry asks.

 

Louis gives him an amused look.

 

"Think you need to calm down a bit before dinner, don't you?"

 

Harry sucks in a breath and freezes.

 

Fuck! He _had_ heard. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

 

Louis seems to notice the change, quickly abandoning his clothes folding in favour of rushing over to soothe him.

 

"Hey, we all do it, babe..."

 

Louis' voice is warm and husky. Harry wants to rub against it and meow.

 

"Please don't tell anyone," he says anyway.

 

Louis snorts.

 

"You think I'm in any position to report you? I've broken about fifty laws since I stepped into this house."

 

Harry watches Louis move back towards the bed, relaxing slightly.

 

"I'm a bad influence," he says.

 

Louis laughs, loud and sharp.

 

"Sure, Harry, if you say so."

 

Harry walks toward the bed quickly and tucks himself under the covers, gown and all.

 

"Can I have a nickname?" He asks, thoughtfully.

 

Louis looks over his shoulder, his eyes lit by the late afternoon sun and his smile curving over his thin lips.

 

"A nickname?" He asks anyway, curious.

 

"Something only you call me," Harry defines.

 

Louis closes the drawer, turning towards Harry and folding his arms. He cocks his hip against the furniture.

 

"Sounds a bit like something exclusive," Louis comments warily.

 

Harry feels his whole body cringe at the insinuation. He's doing it again, he's bloody doing it again and his Mum had told him! She'd told him not to let this happen, his training had prepared him for this and he'd worked so hard! He'd had so many feedback forms telling him he was too sentimental, too soft, _too personal_.

 

He doesn't know what's wrong with him lately, everything feels like gobble-de-gook.

 

He shoots Louis a fearful look.

 

"I didn't mean it like that," he lies. "I just wanted to-" He sighs, not sure _what_ he wanted to do.

 

_He wanted to have Louis call him a nickname that only Louis knew._

 

He sits up in the bed and dangles his legs over the side, deciding to get himself dressed before he makes a bigger fool of himself but then Louis is there, tucking his hair behind his ear in the most exquisite way- tender and sweet- while he shuffles closer, nudging between Harry's knees.

 

"What would you like to be called?" Louis asks with a crackle in his voice.

 

Harry lets his gaze hit his thighs while his ears burn with shame. He shrugs.

 

"It doesn't matter, never mind...pretend I never said anything."

 

"What about Harold? Or Harriet?" Louis murmurs, leaning into the resistance of Harry's thighs.

 

He is trying his best to clamp them together, but Louis has other ideas.

 

"Or something descriptive like Pretty or Beautiful?" Louis adds, brushing his lips against Harry's damp hair.

 

Harry shakes his head minutely.

 

"Do you like me calling you sweetheart?" Louis wonders, cupping Harry's face in his hands now he's negotiated a small space between his knees.

 

Harry tilts his head up. His eyes shine olive and amber. He swallows.

 

"I already call you that," Louis muses.

 

Harry flicked his eyes away with a hum of agreement.

 

Louis leans in, brushing his lips against Harry's ear, ruffling his hair gently as he scrapes his fingertips against Harry's scalp.

 

"Sweetheart, beautiful," he murmurs softly, his voice sweet and high.

 

Harry feels himself shiver at being called those names.

 

"So pretty, aren't you?" Louis asks, still in that same voice, leaning closer.

 

Harry lifts his chin a bit higher, brows drawing together in confusion. Is Louis going to kiss him? He doesn't know what romantic kisses _are,_ so he isn't sure how they start but the way Louis' blue orbs keep flicking down to his lips is indicative of _something_ he's certain.

 

"Louis," he manages to scratch out, deep and uneven.

 

He lets his eyes flutter shut, his lips parting and body finally accepting Louis' presence. His thighs widen to allow him closer.

 

In the next second, everything is destroyed as a knock comes sharply on the door.

 

"It's dinner time," Ava trills.

 

Harry dares a look towards Louis who has twisted away from him smoothly and quickly to lean on the chest once more. Louis is studying his hands with an awkward tension in his jaw and body, a weird vibe that made Harry tense up himself.

 

Evidently Louis doesn't want to kiss him after all and he's made things awkward by offering it so wantonly. He concentrates on getting dressed to bypass the moment.

 

//

 

The second test is negative.

 

Harry is more resilient this time. He asked Liam about Lucas and was assured the man was recovering well and being placed with a new family soon.

 

He tries to ignore the accusing silence from Ava, but Louis has to fill the gaps with his easy banter.

 

Two days after the test, Ava broaches the subject of Harry getting more exercise and being more stringent over his diet. He's already struggling with the foods the Cowell's want him to eat and he pretends he doesn't have much appetite, but the suggestion of exercise is meant to increase his hunger.

 

Louis shoots him a worried glance during the family meeting, but Harry doesn't say anything, he just agrees to the plan and asks if he can go swimming for his daily exercise.

 

Simon approves it on the basis Louis goes with him. Harry hasn't been penetrated by Louis in three days since the awkward kiss incident and he's put it down to his own fault for putting Louis off.

 

When Louis slides into the driver’s seat of the Cowell's car, Harry can't help looking at him.

 

"Can we just forget the other night?" He asks.

 

Louis frowns.

 

"Why?"

 

"Because it's weird now," Harry expresses. "And you don't want to have sex with me. Which won't help the whole situation," he adds.

 

Louis swallows.

 

"I've had sex so many times I can't even count them anymore," Louis says quietly, grasping the steering wheel of the stationary car. "I just - I needed to take stock, maybe. Not because of you, but because I can't stop thinking about how I don't want to have just _sex_ anymore. With you or with anyone."

 

Harry takes a breath.

 

"What _do_ you want?" He asks.

 

Louis chucks out a breath, a bitter smile littering his lips.

 

"Love. You know? Like looking into someone's eyes and caring..."

 

Harry felt a ping in his chest.

 

"You don't care about me?"

 

Louis looks over, leaning back a bit so that his hands slide off the wheel.

 

"Don't you get it Harry?" He asks.

 

Harry didn't, he didn't get it at all.

 

"You're half the reason I'm even feeling this way because when we -" Louis pauses, sighing. "It feels so real."

 

Harry blinks.

 

"It _is_ real."

 

Louis reaches over the gear stick and brushes his knuckles against Harry's thigh.

 

"I won't let you down for the test," he promises quietly. "I just needed a couple of days to think."

 

"I don't care about the test, Louis, I care about _you_. And if you don't want to do this, if you want to go then I'll understand, okay? I don't want you to stay here out of some stupid obligation...I don't want you to stay because you're worried about _me_."

 

Louis smirks.

 

He was more worried about what he'd do to the guy that replaced him. Maybe not in an entirely possessive way but definitely in a protective way. Harry deserves someone gentle and careful as his Stud.

 

"I'm here because I want to be," Louis assures, starting up the car.

 

//

 

The swimming pool is one of the few places people could show skin. It is considered by the Rulers that baring skin in public only encouraged banned thoughts.

 

Harry wears his plain black trunks and slides into the water while Louis takes a running jump at the pool and dive-bombs, his long surf-style shorts printed in sunset colours with palm trees.

 

Harry feels the tension of the last few days seep out of him, his lips turning into a reluctant smile and shy giggles bubbling out of him when Louis entices him into a splashing war.

 

Of course, they are told to behave and they gave each other a chastised smirk before settling into relaxed laps. Louis swims on his back when Harry feels like talking and the other pool-goers soon fade into the background. It's just them; enjoying the water and time away from the house.

 

"I'm surprised Ava let us leave," Harry comments as they climb out of the pool a long while later, after a second bout of splashing fun; this time with floats once the pool was empty.

 

Louis chuckles, sliding his gaze sideways to Harry.

 

"What would you eat, you know if she didn't..."

 

"Normal food," Harry replies dryly. "Proteins and fruits..."

 

Louis sighs, fisting his hands and unfisting them in silent frustration.

 

"I'm sorry you have to do this," he expresses.

 

Harry holds the door to the changing room open for Louis to pass through.

 

"It’s not your fault," Harry replies. "Hopefully I'll conceive soon and she'll let me eat what I like as part of my pregnancy cravings," he smiles.

 

Louis likes seeing Harry smile, hasn't seen him do a lot of it and he wants this moment right now to go on forever. Just him and Harry and laughter and smiles. It makes his chest ache with wanting it so much.

 

He checks the changing room for others and finds it empty, grasping Harry's wrist and tugging him into the shower, ripping the curtain across.

 

"Louis!" Harry chuckles out a breathy laugh, stumbling into the space inelegantly.

 

Louis looks up at him, stepping closer, his small hands curving into Harry's sides.

 

"I like seeing you like this," the smaller man admits, hitting the shower button so that the water cascaded upon them, flattening Harry's long hair.

 

Harry runs a delicate hand over Louis' wrist and up his arm, pressing a thumb into his bicep while his other traces curious fingertips into the dip at Louis' collarbones before trailing up to cup his face.

 

"We can't do this," Harry whispers. "Not here."

 

Louis steps closer, his hands sliding down to cup Harry's bum over his wet shorts.

 

"Then where do we get to do this Harry?" He asks.

 

"At home," Harry answers, his head dipping to nuzzle Louis' temple. "Please, just wait until we get home..."

 

Louis brushes himself against Harry's hip; the heat of his arousal burning through Harry's skin and straight into his soul. Louis is hard, already. From nothing but a swim and some light touching under the water.

 

"Lou," he whispers, voice ravaged with want. His own body instantly responds to the man in his vicinity and he presses closer out of instinct.

 

Louis' arms tighten around his waist, one hand diving beneath his shorts to caress his ass-cheek underneath the material. Harry chokes a little at the sensation.

 

"Shh, sweetheart," Louis hums.

 

There is something addictively sexy about the way Harry reacts to the smallest of touches, so unused to the way it makes him feel. Louis would have taken a bullet to the head just to hear Harry gasp and feel him press closer at murmuring his nickname.

 

Harry turns his lips into Louis' neck to keep quiet, his bigger body now succumbed to Louis despite their size difference.

 

"What do you want, pretty? Hm? What do you want me to do?" Louis asks.

 

Harry presses his lips to Louis' neck, up under his chin; peeling his body away with unsteady feet. Louis knows what he is asking for without Harry having to say the words. Keeping one hand steady on his ass-cheek, he gently tugs Harry's shorts down and curls his other hand around his heat; already thick and strong in his arousal.

 

"Fuck, you're so beautiful," Louis whispers, his own breath hitching as Harry's hand brushes low, the backs of his fingers making contact with Louis' hard-on.

 

"Hmm," Harry hums low, copying Louis and pushing curious fingers under his shorts to feel.

 

While Harry's touch was searching; learning and curious, Louis' was certain in its mission. He strokes Harry firm and slow, thumbing over the head of his flushed dick and letting his little finger trail into his pubic hair teasingly. It makes Harry shudder and sigh each time he does it; makes Harry's hand tighten around him in reciprocated lust.

 

Louis' ears pound with listening so hard for voices, for any sign that they are being caught but when Harry moans, it's like the world is tuned out and the only sounds that make it through to his brain are those from Harry's lips.

 

"Ah, yes! Yes, Louis!"

 

Louis presses a thumb to Harry's lips in gentle reminder, swallowing his own groan as Harry fists around him stronger and more certain, stroking him now in a way that tells him Harry intends for him to come.

 

His blue eyes open wide, his lips slackening in awe and Harry looks at him with dark green eyes, his body quivering with the need to release. Louis' gaze drops to Harry's lips as he licks them, water dripping off the lower one from the shower that was coursing through his hair leaving it slick and straight under the weight.

 

He looks beautiful, like a cast-stone statue under a fountain. He looks kissable and Louis shouldn't be thinking those thoughts, but he _is_ , fuck it, but he is.

 

From the very start he'd felt something different with Harry and it's obvious now, it's throbbing in his lips; the need to kiss him and show this man that this life was not just about what he could provide; but it is about what he could _feel_ , too. It's about love and desire and all of the emotions he's been told not to acknowledge.

 

Something in the way Louis looks at him instigates something because Harry is coming with quiet, choked noises, leaning in to bite against Louis' shoulder as the pleasure becomes too much. It's the sharp bite against his skin that has Louis triggering right after, staggering until his back hits the wall; Harry wrapping around him for balance.

 

Their breaths are harsh; the water still scattering down to shield their sound.

 

Harry shudders in Louis' arms.

 

"Shh." Louis presses a kiss to his wet hair, cupping the back of his head tenderly and stroking. "It's okay."

 

Harry hums and gets his feet in order, curling Louis close with a tight hug.

 

"Thank you," he whispers quietly, the quietest Louis has ever heard him.

 

They part to wash away their combined semen, Louis sending Harry out of the shower first after checking the coast is clear.

 

Harry gives him a long look and leans forward to kiss his cheek.

 

Louis presses a hand to the spot and stays there for a long moment savouring the feeling.


	6. Chapter 6

Like the foreboding that comes with a pending storm, Louis knows that the sharp rap on the front door later that night isn't one of the Cowell's friends visiting them.

 

He's sat on the sofa watching some early evening television after dinner; discussing plans for he and Harry to continue with their daily swim when Simon rises to answer the unexpected knock.

 

Ava has taken Harry to her sister's house for some kind of feminine bonding session which is so ironic that Louis had to force himself not to roll his eyes at the time. Since Harry wasn't, in fact, a female he didn't see how pre-pregnancy pamper sessions would help but he's only paid to provide the sperm, so his opinion doesn't count.

 

The low voices from the doorway make his skin crawl, his pulse shooting quickly up making him breathless and sweaty.

 

When the voices come inside, Louis stands up.

 

"Louis, this is Officer Green," Simon introduces with a frown. "Apparently there's been a serious allegation made against you..."

 

Louis has hoped that should this moment ever arise; he'll put on an Oscar-worthy performance and lie his way out of whatever he was being accused of. Something about Harry had him wanting to fight for what they have, though. Something in him wants to stand up to the Rulers for once instead of living in shameful silence.

 

"Oh?" He quirks a brow, curious.

 

"Mr. Tomlinson, you have been reported for displaying affection at the swimming pool. The pool attendant has given us a statement, which includes a very clear description of your actions today. Your behaviour was carried out whilst of sober mind, therefore you are fully aware of your actions, its implications and the subsequent consequences.”

 

Louis blinks, eyes turning cool.

 

"We had a splash-fight, Officer. Hardly the crime of the century," Louis muses.

 

Simon gives him a look.

 

"We got some floats and had a splash-around, so what?" Louis beseeches.

 

"The attendant witnessed you and your Provider using the same shower facility," the Officer adds darkly. "I'm sure I don't need to go any further."

 

The worst thing for Louis is the way Simon's face crumples. Not in disappointment like Louis expects, but in sudden realisation of what will happen.

 

"Now, Officer, can't we come to some agreement on this?" He broaches. "There must be an alternative to-"

 

"Capital punishment," Officer Green states in reply. "No exceptions."

 

"But I could-"

 

"Outside, please, Mr, Tomlinson..."

 

Louis' face pales. He swallows as his heartbeat jack-rabbits, wondering if he can make a run for it and the likelihood of getting away. There are two other officers outside to hold him down while his back is lashed by Officer Green.

 

He doesn't fight as they push him front down onto the grass, ankles and wrists held. He doesn't struggle as the lashes are brought against him, his top pulled up roughly to bare the sensitive skin of his back. He grits his teeth against the burning urge to cry out; his pain expressed in the tears coursing down his cheeks.

 

It feels like his back is on fire when they've finished with him; a vague awareness of voices around him accompanied the feeling that he isn't in his own body.

 

He can't remember who gets him up, only that he is lifted and carried to safety.

 

//

 

When Louis opens his eyes he doesn't know where he is at first.

 

He's front down in bed, he realises, twisting to try and look around him. The sting in his skin reminds him sharply of what has happened.

 

"Hey...he's awake..." The voice is soft and caring but Louis can't place it at first.

 

"Liam?" He wonders.

 

Liam smiles, bending to come into Louis' view at the side of the bed he's been laid on.

 

"The cream should help cool down the skin, as well as reduce the swelling and any risk of infection," the Doctor says gently.

 

Louis wriggles, feeling sore.

 

"Hate to think what it feels like without," he mumbles.

 

"Harry's on his way back," Simon's voice cuts across the room.

 

Louis lifts his head again, this time determinedly working onto his elbows.

 

"Simon, I'm so sorry," Louis husks. "I know my actions will bring shame on your family and I understand if you want me to leave immediately."

 

"You're in no fit state to go anywhere, Louis," Simon points out.

 

Louis shakes his head, chin dipping.

 

"That's not your concern."

 

"I'm not sure Harry would be happy if we just kick you out," Simon comments then. "And as our Provider we have to keep him as comfortable as possible."

 

Louis sighs.

 

"Does Ava know?"

 

Simon takes a moment to answer.

 

"I rang her at her sister's and explained that an innocent splash-fight had been taken out of context and that you'd been punished as a result."

 

"But that's not-"

 

"Nothing else was seen," Simon interrupts. "The officer did well to enforce capital punishment based on that alone; let alone some fantasised story from the pool attendant."

 

Louis looks across the room to where Simon stands, arms folded.

 

"We both know the truth," Louis says, unabashedly.

 

Simon blinks.

 

"Did I ever tell you about my brother?"

 

Louis frowns.

 

"No..."

 

"My parents had him several years after me; designer baby of course. He was an assigned Stud. He spent several years in loveless relationships just pumping out his sperm the same way you do for our family, Louis. One day his placement meant something. His Provider was a woman named Annie who he happened to fall in love with. Only they couldn't show it and when they did..."

 

Simon pauses, sighing, his arms dropping from his chest.

 

"I'm a sympathiser because they damn well killed him," Simon spits out. "Beat him so hard he had no way of recovering from it. I won't see that happen again, Louis. Not to anyone."

 

Louis settles down against the bed as his arms become weak, the action of holding himself up hurting his welted skin.

 

"You need to send me away," he whispers as he lets his tears trickle silently from his eyes. "You need to send me away before it's too late."

 

Simon walks over to the bed and places a fatherly hand on the back of Louis' head, letting his fingers brush into Louis' short hair.

 

"You're safe here, Louis. Go back to sleep."

 

//

 

The next time Louis wakes up, he's lying on something hard and lumpy.

 

When he lifts his head, he realises he's laid on Harry; curled into his side with one leg thrown over his and his arm across Harry's waist. Harry's arm is protectively curled around his shoulders and he quickly checks the room for Liam or Simon just in case they witness their closeness.

 

The room is empty.

 

"Hey," The deep voice is sleepy and he feels Harry stretch slightly under him, curling over a bit to look into his face. "You okay?"

 

Louis nods, yawning.

 

His back doesn't smart the way it did earlier, his skin feels soothed somehow. He realises Harry has put a t-shirt on him over the ointment and Harry's hand shifts to cup his neck, supporting his head.

 

"Does it hurt, still?"

 

Harry's sleepy green eyes narrow worriedly, his teeth biting at his lip.

 

"I'll be okay," Louis assures.

 

Harry pouts and his gaze lowers and Louis notices the pink tinge to his eye-lids where he's probably been crying.

 

Louis tucks his fingers under Harry's top and slots them against his ribs.

 

"I'll be okay, Harry."

 

"It's my fault, too," Harry expresses in a sleep-roughened voice. "It's not fair that they hurt you like this."

 

"What did Ava say?" Louis asks then, tensing.

 

Harry sighs.

 

"Just stuff about how it'll affect my fertility if I'm worrying about you."

 

"Could be worse," Louis mused. "She could kick me out."

 

Harry moves a bit at that expression, curling toward Louis a bit more. His intense eyes flick over Louis' face.

 

"You're not going anywhere."

 

"They have the right to terminate my contract," Louis points out.

 

"They won't," Harry says assuredly, running his fingers over Louis' fringe gently.

 

"How can you be so sure?" Louis wonders.

 

"Because," he says, eyes now intent on Louis' mouth, only flicking up momentarily to gauge him. "Because I told them I'd go too if they kicked you out."

 

"Harry-"

 

"Shh," Harry smirks at the way he's stealing Louis' soothing technique.

 

Louis looks at him. Harry tilts his face; his breath warm and a bit short with nerves. When he brushes his lips against Louis' he has no idea how the other man will react. No matter their growing intimacy, Louis might want nothing to do with him anymore. Might want to get as far away as possible for fear of further repercussions.

 

He feels the hesitation thrumming in Louis' veins, in the way he quivers slightly under Harry's touch. He feels the heavy beat of Louis' heart answering his own, the shaky press of his lips to his own.

 

When Louis kisses him back, Harry moans low in his throat, changing angles to suit Louis better as he cups Harry's face and sucks gently on his lips as though starved of contact.

 

And he was; Harry knew. They both were; as is every Citizen in this world but nobody else has felt worthy enough to break the law for. Harry wants to break every law where Louis is concerned. He was distraught when he found out about Louis' punishment. He couldn’t calm down until he crawled into bed beside him and cradled his small, injured form close to his own body.

 

He didn't care in that moment if Simon and Ava reported them for PDA. He needs to hold Louis close and promise him he's never going let him get hurt again. And he needs to show him exactly how he feels which... well...

 

Louis has his arms wrapped around his neck, his knee pushes between his which Harry presses together to keep their legs twined but the more Harry kisses him, the more he _wants_ to kiss him and he forgets that Louis is hurt as he turns toward him to press into him more.

 

Louis hisses as his back touches the bed; rubbing against his t-shirt and the mattress simultaneously.

 

"Sorry," Harry quickly breaks the kiss, hauling him away from the mattress. "I'm sorry," he kisses by the side of Louis' lips.

 

Louis smiles, unfurling his arms from Harry's neck to press his hands into Harry's chest.

 

"Don't be sorry," he assures.

 

Harry licks his lips which now feel swollen and tingly. He ventured ~~=s~~ a look at Louis.

 

"Have I made things worse?" He wonders.

 

Louis settles a bit, tucking Harry's hair gently back behind his ears. Louis shakes his head.

 

"You've made things perfect," he whispers.

 

//

 

Harry's eyes follow Louis around the room whenever he hobbles somewhere to fetch something.

 

Louis can sense how Harry's mouth opens to chastise him, reminding him sulkily that he can help but Harry manages to bite his tongue mostly; making Louis smirk.

 

He aches, mostly, feels battered and worse for the wear. He certainly feels his age.

 

He's sitting in an armchair curled up under a blanket while Harry fidgets on the sofa, pretending to read the newspaper laid in his lap but Louis would rather be the one occupying Harry's lap right now.

 

He'd gotten up to get a glass of milk, but Harry's big eyes pause him on his return to his seat.

 

He winks.

 

"You up for it?" He asks quietly since Ava is sitting behind him knitting baby clothes.

 

Harry frowns.

 

"You're still limping," he accuses.

 

Louis shrugs.

 

"I can still...you _know_..."

 

Harry flicks a look across the room to find Ava's gaze not-so-subtly on him. They have three days until the test and they haven't had sex since the last one. Harry hates the pressure on them; hates that Louis has to think about impregnating him above all else, including his own health.

 

He stands up because at least they can pretend to be trying instead of being stared at.

 

"Come on, then," he calls softly, tilting his head and holding out his hand for Louis to take.

 

Louis glances at Ava who smiles softly so Louis takes it, following Harry up the stairs.

 

//

 

Louis presses kisses down Harry's spine where he's on his hands and knees and it's the last thing he expects, really.

 

After getting caught and being punished Louis has every right to turn into exactly the kind of Stud that society expects him to be and Harry wouldn't have thought any less of him for it, either.

 

Despite their growing relationship, Harry knows they are both here to do a job and he knows that Louis can go as hard as he wants.

 

It's re-affirming, almost, when they make love like this. Louis’ arms are tight around his waist and he sinks into him slowly, giving a shallow double-thrust with a panted sound onto Harry's skin.

 

"So tight, sweetheart," Louis manages to husk out. "Am I hurting you?"

 

Harry shakes his head, his arms shaking with the pressure of holding himself up where he wants to melt into the bed. He widens his thighs a bit.

 

"Oh, you like it?" Louis' voice is warm like honey now, sticky and sweet. Harry shivers when he rubs his stubble against Harry's skin.

 

"Talk to me," Harry whispers.

 

He feels Louis smile press into his spine.

 

"You look so beautiful, Harry...look so pretty like this..."

 

Harry squeezes his eyes shut and feels his thighs quiver with the slow, relentless thrusts Louis is pressing into him. It's rhythmic but it's satisfying; not enough to build him to a high but enough to have him interested, enough to clutch at Louis' thickness and heat and wish they could stay like this forever.

 

"Can see myself...stretching you out...you look so good, sweetheart..."

 

Harry feels his long hair being swiped off his back, away from his neck. Louis presses up high and kisses the back of his neck. He sinks down into him at a different angle, a different pace.

 

"You feel so perfect," Louis murmurs. "Taste incredible..."

 

Louis' tongue flicks out across his sweaty skin.

 

Harry groans and his arms give way.

 

"Fuck," he grunts softly on the fall, Louis pulling back to curl his hands around Harry's hips to hold him.

 

Louis' hips circle, he screws in tight.

 

"Wanted it dirty, did you?" He asks Harry, pinching his hip. Harry can't hold back the whimper that escapes his throat. "Wanted to submit?"

 

Louis pumps in twice, slowly drags out and fucks back in harder than before. His teeth press into Harry's back, sucking a kiss there.

 

"Wanted to feel good, hm, baby? Gonna make you feel so good..."

 

"L-Lou--ah," Harry's body goes lax and it's only Louis' hands holding his hips steady; he is all but a rag doll to Louis commands.

 

He wants his thighs to co-operate, to tighten and push back. He wants to be the perfect partner to Louis, to meet him halfway and share this carnal pleasure. But he can't, he asked for Louis' sexy words and now that he has them he's weak, so incredibly weak.

 

"Harry," Louis' voice is present in his ear, his mind can't respond, too given over to the thick slide of Louis within him still, regular and pleasant. "You need to lie on your front, okay?"

 

He feels Louis arrange him so that he's front down to the bed and Louis is between his legs; hooking his elbow under his knee to make room.

 

Soft lips brush his bicep.

 

"Harry...you okay? Is this okay?"

 

He makes a noise and wriggles, trying to push himself back onto Louis' dick but the base of his spine is a pool of heated liquid and he has no control. Luckily for him Louis does all the work, sliding back into him. He lets out a weak noise, limply pushing back but Louis lays against him and shushes him softly.

 

Louis circles his hips and double-thrusts, staying tight in him, softening the hardiness of his body with soft presses of his lips. Harry claws at the mattress until Louis' hands slot through his from behind and clutch tightly; Louis fucking into him tight and steady.

 

"Please," Harry begs with a breathy voice; gasping for air.

 

One of Louis' hands leaves his and presses between the mattress and Harry's body, fisting around him as he grinds down; his hot skin and sweaty stickiness a clue to his closeness to peaking.

 

Louis' other arm wraps possessively across his chest as his thighs begin to quiver for a whole different reason than when he was trying to hold himself up.

 

"So fucking beautiful, Harry...." Louis' gasp sends tingles down Harry's spine because then he's releasing; his slick sperm spilling into Harry's body and he can't help the thought that slips into his mind, his conditioning has taught him to think it.

 

_That could be a baby._

 

He lets his own orgasm peak into Louis' hand and waits while Louis lays against him, sated, both of them gasping breath into their lungs.

 

When Louis moves, it stings a bit and he's slick with come.

 

"Stay there, Harry," Louis tells him softly, nudging a pillow under his thighs to stop his semen trickling away.

 

They both know he needs to keep that seed inside of him if they have any chance of the test being positive next time. Harry hums and lets his heavy eyes slip shut.


	7. Chapter 7

Waking up naked with Louis' equally naked hard-on poking him in the thigh lends the way for a second round of sex that leaves them equally pleasured and exhausted.

 

When they rise- slowly, after long, separate showers- they're both dressed in soft clothes and they're clingy; arms touching where they're not allowed to hold hands.

 

They ask if they can go back to their room after breakfast and once Harry has forced down his spinach and eggs they're permitted to go but they lay on their backs holding hands; curling around each other.

 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Harry asks.

 

He's seen the recovering marks on Louis' back and he's vowed to never let anything like that happen to him again.

 

"Mm-hm," Louis hums, nosing into Harry's hair, a casual arm slung around his shoulders.

 

"I'm sorry I wasn't here to stop them." He adds gently.

 

"You couldn't have stopped them," Louis recognises. "And I wouldn't want you to see that."

 

Harry's arm tightens a bit across his front.

 

"I'm scared."

 

Louis' head lifts off the bed.

 

"Why?"

 

"What if I'm not pregnant yet?" He asks.

 

The test is on Friday and he has butterflies in his tummy but they're not friendly ones and he doesn't think they're due to a foetus growing inside him.

 

Louis swallows.

 

"It's been less than two months. We have another four left. It'll happen." Louis assures.

 

Harry brushes his cheek against Louis' chest.

 

"I'm still scared."

 

"I won't leave you." Louis states, just to be sure that Harry knows.

 

Harry lets out a breath with a hum of vague agreement.

 

//

 

The next test is negative.

 

Ava books Harry into the gynaecologist for a routine check despite his clear medical records that he provided before he came here.

 

He feels worthless when she tells him about it and he requests to go for a walk.

 

"Dinner will be served in half an hour," Ava reminds him.

 

Harry glares at her.

 

"I'm not hungry," he states emphatically.

 

"It won't help your fertility score if you don't eat properly," she hedges.

 

"And what about the pressure you're putting on me?" He asks, his anger boiling up past a point he's able to control. "That's not making it worse? And forcing food down me when I don't want to eat?"

 

Harry stands up in the living room and turns for the front door; heading out of it with a flourish. Ava stares at the door with a look of shocked offence and Louis- who had been standing silently supporting Harry in the background- steps forwards into her line of sight.

 

"Can I go after him?" He asks.

 

Ava is still stunned so Louis looks to Simon. Simon nods his consent and Louis grabs his jacket and Harry's before heading out after him.

 

//

 

Harry isn't down by the river where Louis expects to find him. He walks and walks all night looking for him and eventually he has to start asking people if they've seen him.

 

A young child points to a tree house in the woods and Louis heads into the darkening trees with trepidation. Fear chills his bones, shivering down his spine. If he's about to get jumped, then he'll go down without a fight; he's not ready to protect himself.

 

The woods turn out to be quiet and still; no birdsong, no animals scurrying through the undergrowth. Louis finds the entrance to the tree house and climbs the ladder, poking his head through the top.

 

"Guess who?" He introduces; throwing Harry's coat on the floor while he pulls himself up. He crouches and settles beside him; draping the jacket over Harry's shoulders.

 

His hair has been pulled into a bun and his arms are curled about himself and he's shivering. Louis aches to beg him to put the jacket on properly but when he leans over to press a kiss to the corner of Harry's mouth, Harry moves to push his arms into the sleeves and button the coat up slowly.

 

"Here, you need gloves?" Louis tugs his off and gently dresses Harry's cold hands with them. Harry lets out a grunt of acknowledgement.

 

Louis knocks his head back against the wooden wall.

 

"Pretty good hiding place," Louis allows. "Took me all night to find you."

 

"Shouldn't have bothered," Harry replies, low and resigned.

 

Louis smirks.

 

"Couldn't exactly go back without you."

 

"Are they mad at me?"

 

"No. Just surprised I think."

 

Harry cringes, ducking his head.

 

"Yeah, I'm supposed to just sit there and take it. I had no idea how hard it would be."

 

Louis' hand ventures shyly onto Harry's knee, overlapping his own fingers.

 

"Am I making it hard for you?"

 

Harry snorts, rolling his eyes and tilting his head back so it rests on the wooden wall behind him. Louis watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallows.

 

"Only because you're making it so good for me," Harry concedes with a husk in his voice. "But what I mean is the food and everything. How suffocating Ava is. We've been there six weeks and it feels like she wants a miracle to happen. I'm not Mary and you're not Joseph and there's no Jesus in this picture."

 

Louis squeezes his hand, linking their fingers.

 

"There will be," he promises. "I've never let a Provider down yet. Prime Stud I am," he smirks.

 

Harry huffs out a quiet laugh. Then he tenses, rubbing their joined hands between his thighs for comfort.

 

"What if-what if it's me?" He asks. "What if I'm the problem?"

 

Louis brushes his fingertips against Harry's thigh.

 

"You've had all the medical tests, so you know that isn't true. We just need to fuck a bit more, yeah?"

 

Harry looks at him with sulky lips and stormy eyes.

 

"We're not doing that."

 

"Why not?" Louis shrugs. "That's the deal, right?"

 

Harry shakes his head, reaching across with his free hand to cup Louis' cheek, his thumb pressing into his cheek gently.

 

"We've talked about this. How we feel is important. How you feel. About sex."

 

Louis bits his lip, leaning up to kiss Harry, slicking his tongue over his lips quickly before sliding them together. It's a hot little kiss, slow and meaningful and Harry feels the flutter in his tummy from what it means, from the possibilities that lay ached.

 

He ignores the reality of his life and pretends he can keep Louis for longer, for forever even.

 

"You fancy me, right?" Louis murmurs.

 

Harry smiles, their foreheads pressed together. He shifts to slip a tender kiss onto Louis' lips.

 

"Right."

 

"So let's make love," Louis suggests as though it's the simplest thing in the world. "Fuck the system, fuck the Cowell's and the arrangement. You and me...we make love as much as we can because one day-"

 

Louis cuts off, voice raw. He grimaces and Harry's heart stutters.

 

"One day we might not be able to."

 

Louis smiles but it's forlorn and wistful.

 

"Now that I've had this...had you, I don't know, I don't know if I can go back and pretend anymore," Louis admits, lips slipping onto Harry's again as they kiss fervently; bodies twisting to get closer and hands moving over shoulders and backs clumsily.

 

"That poor guy next door," Harry half-sobs against his mouth, pressing kisses into his cheek and jaw. "How does he-"

 

"It hurts?" Louis checks of what the guy told him.

 

Harry nods, but he's crying now, tears sliding hotly down his cheeks as his throat works painfully against his emotions, but he's almost climbed into Louis' lap, he's almost-

 

"I would never hurt you," Louis' words accompany the removal of Harry's t-shirt; swooping over his head.

 

"Do we have lube?" Harry wonders quietly.

 

Louis nods, sliding packets from his jeans pockets.

 

"But we don't have to use them. I'm happy just to get my tongue into you if I'm honest..."

 

"Louis," Harry bucks in his lap, gasping as Louis surges forward to suckle his nipple.

 

"You want it, babe? You feeling good?"

 

Harry ends up rolling onto his back ungracefully so that Louis can pull his jeans off and he returns the favour for the smaller man, quickly slotting back into his lap to kiss him again; big hands working over tan skin steadily to touch every part of him.

 

Louis slicks his fingers for what feels like hours, circling them around Harry's rim as he perches in his lap. Harry's mouth is open, panting hot breath against Louis' neck.

 

"Please," he begs hoarsely. "Make me feel good...make love to me."

 

Louis' digits push inside at that, surging upwards with a twist.

 

Harry pushes back onto them, fucking himself with those two fingers with a desperate cry, his lips searing with Louis' as their emotions overwhelm them; a union of souls in the exchange.

 

"So beautiful, oh god, you're so-"

 

"Want you," Harry let himself push out through his thick throat. "Want you so much."

 

"Fuck, you're so naughty," Louis whispers, his free hand fumbling with his boxers, his thumb hooking them down, so he can wriggle out of them enough to expose his dick.

 

Harry bends nearly in half to taste him, no hesitation over slipping Louis' heat into his mouth; a surprised noise coming from his throat as his eyes widen.

 

Louis can't help his smile as his finger slip out of Harry's hole as the other man shuffles back.

 

"Like that?" Louis asks.

 

Harry hums around him; tongue winding around his dick and flattening on the underside as his cheeks hollow.

 

"You learn fast," Louis thumbs his cheek, making it blush hotly. "So pretty, aren't you?"

 

Harry gasps as he finds friction against Louis' hairy thigh for his own arousal and soon he swaps his mouth for his hand, strong and rutting while Louis strokes his hair and murmurs words to encourage him. He wants to be full of Louis, wants to ride him but this-this feeling he's chasing it's incredible and it's a feeling he's barely gotten to know so he indulges himself because not everyone is like Louis and he may never get this chance again.

 

Coming is like the biggest epiphany he's had in his life; intense, inexplicable pleasure shimmering over him as he spurts over Louis' chest with happy gasps; his own hand squeezed around Louis' base.

 

He opens his eyes slowly to look down, expecting Louis to have come, too.

 

He pouts when he sees he hasn't. His eyes though when he looks up are dark and feral, almost. His dick is dark red with want.

 

"Can we finish this?" Louis asks carefully.

 

Harry nods, swallows a whimper and shuffles up close, lifting himself so that Louis can position the head of his dick at Harry's hole. And it's strangely erotic and utterly intimate the way Harry tightens his arms around Louis' shoulders and gasps a bit at the way the thickness of his tip stretches him.

 

He hums and drags his lips against Louis' collarbone.

 

"Baby, you're so boneless," Louis muses. "You sure you want this?"

 

"Want you," Harry promises, curving his hips back, rather than down.

 

It sinks Louis into him an inch or so, the stretch beautifully hot and stinging.

 

"Oh, Lou..."

 

"Yeah," Louis sucks in a breath, hands cupping Harry's behind. "Fuck, that's good..."

 

Harry rocks down, inch at a time and circles his hips when he's completely full, a whimper breathing out from his lips.

 

"Too much?" Louis strokes his hair back gently; fingers splitting his ass-cheeks where he sinks into him.

 

Harry shakes his head, clinging on.

 

"Not enough."

 

Louis lets out a grunt and rearranges his legs, feet to the floor. He rolls his hips a bit; feels Harry clutch at him inside and around the shoulders, soft lips pressing kisses into his jaw and onto his lips.

 

They kiss for long, hot moments with Louis just deep inside him, just waiting until Harry starts to rock back; taking his pleasure from Louis' heat.

 

"Lou-"

 

"Beautiful," Louis chokes out. “So beautiful."

 

"We can't-"

 

"Shh..." Louis presses a soft kiss to his lips. "It's okay, babe."

 

Harry has to bite Louis' shoulder to temper his cries of pleasure while Louis swallows his down, letting out tiny grunts when he thrusts up into Harry but it's so tight and hot between them, it's so dirty and wrong, he can't help the way his hands strive to cover every inch of Harry's skin.

 

When Louis comes, it's inside Harry, his cries kissed from his lips by the man towering over him in his lap. Harry comes again shortly after that; a fact which makes Louis preen like a peacock on the walk home.

 

Harry pauses outside the front door, his eyes searching out a blue pair he's come to know well.

 

"Will you go in first?" He asks.

 

Louis nods and goes on tip-toes to kiss him but Harry steps back with an abrupt shake of his head.

 

"Not here," he reminds him.

 

Louis' heart drops at the reminder of their reality.

 

He takes a shaky breath.

 

"One day I'll take you to the Other World," he vows. "And we can do whatever we want, wherever we want."

 

Harry smiles at him, but it doesn't meet his eyes, because Louis knows as much as Harry does that his promise is a hard one to keep.


	8. Chapter 8

Ava and Simon welcome them both back into the house as though nothing has gone awry in the last twenty-four hours.

 

Harry obediently sits and drinks the hot chocolate that Ava prepares, along with a bowl full of hearty soup.

 

It's nearly daybreak when he and Louis fall asleep but it's in each other's arms which is a small mercy.

 

They make love again when they wake up just short hours later, Louis spooning Harry and tucked up against him intimately, their sex a completely different experience without having to think about their positioning and ultimate fertility.

 

"Baby, so tight," Louis breathes against the back of Harry's neck, fingers tightening against his hips to gently pull Harry back onto him.

 

Harry twists a bit and widens his thighs, but Louis still feels so thick inside him, so deep and hard. He clutches a bit at the heat, letting out a shaky breath.

 

"You good?" Louis' hand brushes over his belly, his thighs quiver with the intensity of Louis so close and hot.

 

"Mmm," he groans out, pushing harder against Louis' groin.

 

His feet hug the outsides of Louis' legs, desperate for some leverage but the way Louis is loving him, he doesn't need it. It's so sweet and yet so inescapable; he's never felt anything like it before.

 

"Could just stay hard in you, you know?" Louis' hips pulse gently, teasing Harry with their pace.

 

"Yeah," he stretches a bit, gasping as the movement of arching his back forces Louis to poke him deeper inside. "O-oh."

 

"Easy now," Louis curves him back over but his hand presses against his belly firmly and Harry curls into the touch; letting out a little startled cry as Louis finds another angle to fuck him from.

 

"You-" He gasps.

 

"I what?" He can hear the smirk in Louis' voice, small arms tightening around him to bring him close again; Louis' thrusts getting shorter and harder. "Ah-yeah--"

 

Harry squeezes his eyes shut against the thoughts that crowd his mind.

 

How many other people has Louis done this with? Were they all men or were some women? Were some girls who are prettier than Harry? Were some guys who could do more than lay there and-

 

"Oh!"

 

He grasps Louis' arm around his ribs, feet curling behind his calves as Louis screws in, hips flicking at the tail end of the circle.

 

Louis noses into his hair by his ear.

 

"Want me to tell you how beautiful you look right now? How you sound? How you feel around me?"

 

Harry shakes his head because he can't take it along with the feel of Louis' hand splaying on his belly to keep him curled in tight as he speeds up his hips; thrusts bulleting to keep him deep within.

 

"H-Harry, oh--oh, yes..."

 

Harry spurts over Louis' tight hand just as Louis releases into him; filling him with come.

 

When Louis kisses his shoulder tenderly, Harry hugs his arm tightly to his chest to keep him there, close and still within him, softening slowly.

 

"Yeah?" Louis husks, kissing his neck between his parted hair. "You like this, hm?"

 

It's a very intimate pose; loving and tender. They're literally joined and Harry's full of Louis' seed and Louis thinks part of Harry's reason for wanting him close is his desire to conceive but he doesn't mind because he wants to give Harry every desire he's ever had, he wants to break out of the conformity which has been forced upon them and he wants to run to the hills to protect the man in his arms.

 

Harry hums low in his throat, swallowing as he nudges his hips backwards. Louis tightens his arms.

 

"Did you mean it," he whispers, afraid to ask the question.

 

Because it's too soon, it's really too soon to be feeling the way he's feeling. It's irrational. He's never felt like this before, despite his worldly outlook, he's never fallen for a Provider before.

 

Harry clears his throat.

 

"Did I mean what?"

 

"When you said you'd come with me if I run?"

 

Harry stills. He fidgets.

 

"Absolutely."

 

"This could be a nice life for you," Louis tries to argue, nosing into the hair at the back of Harry's head. He lets the strands brush over his lips.

 

Harry shudders.

 

"Not without you."

 

Louis sighs, slipping out of Harry's body carefully. He watches his seed flush out, hoping one or two made it to the homeland to take root.

 

"Are you sore?" He asks.

 

Harry wriggles.

 

"I'm good."

 

"I'll run you a bath," Louis shifts to get up, his wrist caught by a large hand, gentle on his skin.

 

"We should make a plan," Harry says, eyes serious.

 

Louis stares at him for a few minutes.

 

"Not here, it's too dangerous."

 

Harry nods.

 

"We'll go for more walks. It'll be easier since the pool incident."

 

Louis smirks, his fingers subconsciously drawing over the lines of scars on his back.

 

"Indeed."

 

Harry watches him turn and walk to the bathroom, admiring his naked backside.

 

//

 

"What makes you happy?"

 

They're sitting in the gynaecologist's office, side by side.

 

Harry's fiddling with his fingers and Louis' hands are planted on his knees as he scans the room. He put on a suit for the appointment; Harry choosing a smart shirt and tie to go with his black slacks.

 

Louis looks to his side where Harry is sitting to prompt his answer.

 

"Flowers. Art."

 

"What would you do, if you had the choice?"

 

Harry turns his face a bit, confused. He doesn't actually know because he's never been given the freedom to consider it.

 

"I think I could be a teacher. If I wasn't you know-"

 

"Hm, of course," Louis acknowledges. "You make a great Provider, by the way."

 

Harry's lips quirk into a smile, his dimples pooling. Louis finds himself with an answering smile back.

 

"Mr. Styles?" A nurse calls from the entryway of the waiting room, ushering them into the examination room.

 

Harry becomes tense and uneasy once they are inside the room, sitting down stiffly and answering the questions with a quiet voice; sometimes letting Louis take over when he's quizzed about their sex life.

 

He feels humiliated just from the questioning alone; he's barely in the right frame of mind to be examined.

 

"It's only been a couple of months," he defends as he undresses, his hands shaking.

 

The Doctor nods.

 

"You're right, it's early days. But it's good practice to get checked over."

 

Harry is so tense when he comes to lay on his front that his doctor can't get a finger into him, let alone the two required to check everything is ok internally. Louis gets called into the curtained cubicle and he sits beside the bed, flicking his gaze to the Doctor.

 

She's a kind lady with warm brown eyes.

 

"You can hold his hand," she allows. "I won't report you."

 

Louis takes Harry's hand in both of his, kissing the back of it.

 

"Just relax, babe. It'll be over soon, okay? We can do whatever you like tonight. Go for a walk? Sit on the porch swing?" 

 

Harry grunts out as a digit enters him, cold and covered in rubber glove.

 

"I can read to you if you want," Louis offers. "Show you some art books?"

 

Harry tilts his face and looks into Louis' eyes into the blue depths he's come to know so well. He feels comfortable with Louis, feels like his gaze is home. His body relaxes slightly. Another digit slides into him, making him wince and clear his throat.

 

It's mortifying, being jabbed with two cold fingers in a non-sexual way and it's nothing like when Louis fingers him, it's nowhere near. He wonders if this is what it's like for the Provider next door, the one who told him sex hurts, who asked him if it hurt for him too.

 

The internal examination is over quickly and Harry dresses quietly, gaze lingering on the floor.

 

"Everything is fine," The Doctor tells them as Harry sits down, dressed now.

 

He smoothes a wobbly hand down his tie.

 

"It is?"

 

She nods with a smile.

 

"We'll contact you about your blood results but physically, there's nothing more you can do."

 

Harry lets out a breath of relief.

 

"Good."

 

Louis bites his lip in wanting to say something; his hand twitching in wanting to lay somewhere on Harry's body. He stands up instead.

 

"Thanks Doc," he nods. "We'll let you get on with your busy day."

 

//

 

Harry pauses outside the front door of the Cowell's house.

 

"I can't face them right now," he says, eyes still low.

 

Louis tilts his head.

 

"It's okay I can let them know. I'll say you don't feel well..."

 

"Come upstairs after," Harry looks up to beg him. "Please?"

 

Louis swallows with a nod.

 

"Of course, babe."

 

Harry follows Louis into the house but hastens for their shared bedroom, ducking his head to avoid the other two pairs of eyes watching his retreat.

 

//

 

Louis gets caught up retelling the story of the appointment to the Cowell's, finally bartering his escape when he offers to take some food up to Harry who he advises is not feeling well.

 

Ava almost forces her way into the bedroom to feed Harry up with vitamins if not for Simon's intervention and instruction to leave Louis to handle the situation.

 

Louis thanks him with his eyes if not his mouth.

 

Harry's curled under the covers when he comes in. He's wrapped in a fluffy dressing gown, his hair dried but he smells clean like he's recently had a shower.

 

Louis puts on some pyjamas and slides into the bed, laying the tray of goodies on the side-table for later, when Harry's ready to eat.

 

"Hey," he curls his fingers into Harry's hair, stroking through it.

 

Harry's so young, not even twenty yet and he's had so much to endure from such a young age. Having strangers touch him in private places must be about the worst thing he could possibly cope with. Louis remembers how scared Harry was when they first met, when this gig first kicked off. He remembers how he liked to spend an hour just getting Harry 'warmed up' and in the mood.

 

It's easier now that they have a connection because Harry wants him to touch but it's still not something Louis can fully appreciate. His own medical tests merely involve providing some sperm, they don't care how he performs, just that his wrigglers are fertile and well; he's never had a problem in that area.

 

Louis knows some of Harry's fertility issues could be more to do with his stress-levels Even though it's still early days and there's plenty of time yet for him to conceive. He thinks now that he and Harry have agreed to make love then things will get on their way a bit quicker. He thinks Harry will fall pregnant very soon. But he wants Harry to be happy, he wants him to feel something other than the oppression of the Rulers.

 

And that's a much harder war to win.

 

Louis feels Harry burrow into him and curves his arms around him, letting him snuggle close.

 

"I brought some food up," Louis tells him. "If you're hungry."

 

Harry shakes his head.

 

"I'm sorry that you had to go through that today," Louis adds quietly.

 

"Feels sore," Harry breathes, wriggling.

 

"Want a bath?"

 

"I had a shower," Harry answers. "Scrubbed myself clean."

 

Louis breathes in his scent.

 

"Smell nice, sweetheart."

 

Harry smiles a bit, fidgeting in Louis' arms to open his eyes and look into his face. Louis cradles him indulgently, lips smirking.

 

"Washed that nasty experience away."

 

Louis kisses his lips softly.

 

"Was worried you might like a girl fingering you," he teases.

 

Harry blurts out a laugh, pressing three kisses to Louis' cheek.

 

"Shh!" He giggles, still trapped in Louis' hold.

 

He smiles into Louis' face, eyes shining.

 

"You look the most beautiful when you smile," Louis decides.

 

Harry worms himself about until his arms loop around Louis' shoulders haphazardly.

 

"I missed you while you were gone."

 

Louis rolls his eyes.

 

"Had to give them the low-down, didn't I?"

 

Harry's smile dims a bit.

 

"Was everything okay?"

 

Louis nods, kissing Harry's lips again in the hope to bring that smile flushing back.

 

"I told them you're perfect in every way."

 

Harry giggles again, biting his lip as a sudden thought creeps up on him.

 

"Do you want to-?"

 

Louis shakes his head.

 

"You're not up to it, we both know that."

 

Harry's smile flutters back onto his lips.

 

"Like your fingers inside me better."

 

Louis is tempted into kissing Harry again, holding him tight when he snuggles close to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Apart from an allotted hour a day together in which they are meant to get busy like rabbits, Harry is taken away from Louis for the next two days by Ava.

 

Louis curls up in the armchair in the living room with Simon, reading his political books and having quiet conversations about the world they live in; about the unfairness of the regime.

 

"Do you know much about the Other World?" Louis asks, biting his lip.

 

Simon regards him with a shrewd gaze.

 

"You've heard, then."

 

Louis shrugs.

 

"I hear a lot."

 

Simon smiles.

 

"I wish my brother had heard about it. That is, of course, if he had survived the escape."

 

Louis nods with a purse of his lips. He sits up, rubbing his hands together between his knees.

 

"That's the biggest catch isn't it? Getting past the guards."

 

Simon stands and wanders to his bookcase, finger hovering along the spines of the books as his eyes scan the titles.

 

"Of course, you can be killed for merely talking about it," Simon says.

 

Louis glances at him.

 

"Of course."

 

Simon slides a book out, the cover claiming it to be 'Lord of the Flies'. Louis knows though, that the word content inside doesn't match the cover.

 

"You might like this book," Simon muses as Louis splays his hand over the front cover.

 

Louis nods, turning to settle back in his seat with his other book, deciding to keep the new book for when Harry's home and he can read it in their room, in private.

 

"When's Ava and Harry due back?" He asks Simon as nonchalantly as he can manage.

 

He can't help missing his partner, he can't help worrying about him.

 

"They're just having manicures and facials," Simon smirks. "They'll be back after lunch."

 

Louis smiles to himself as he goes back to his book.

 

//

 

Harry's glowing when he comes back from his morning out.

 

Louis has to admit he was worried that the extra time with Ava would put more pressure on him, would push Harry deeper into his anxieties. But the outing appears to have done the world of good- his skin is buffed, his nails are neat and he's smiling beautifully.

 

Louis' not used to seeing him _smile_.

 

They go upstairs hand in hand and Harry gifts him with a small bottle of cologne he's bought on his travels.

 

Louis spritzes his wrists and sniffs.

 

"Nice choice."

 

Harry sits on the edge of the bed and opens his knees, tugging Louis between them.

 

"Can we, you know?"

 

Louis pauses from kissing Harry hotly, hands sliding over his shoulders.

 

"Has Ava said something?"

 

"No," Harry smirks. "Just want you."

 

Louis' brows sky-rocket at that news.

 

"Yeah?"

 

Harry's smile is the best gift Louis has ever received.

 

"Yeah."

 

//

 

"Lou?"

 

Harry's curled on his side with Louis spooning him and he feels Louis' lips move with a smile at hearing the nick-name.

 

"You okay?" Louis responds to Harry's calling of his name.

 

Harry sighs; swallowing hard. He feels Louis' chin dig into his arm as he tries to look into his face.

 

Louis sits up and gently pulls at Harry until he turns towards him so that they're facing on the bed.

 

"What's the matter, H?"

 

Harry chews his lip, fiddling with the front of the t-shirt Louis pulled on; heaving out another sigh.

 

Louis' hand glides onto his arm, coursing through his waves of hair to push them away from his face.

 

"I don't think I can do this."

 

His voice is the quietest Louis has heard it.

 

The words aren't a shock to him; he's heard them from other Providers and he's felt the sentiment from Harry's whole being; from the way he ran away to how he hates being told what to do.

 

"It's okay to feel that way," Louis whispers back, turning his hand and brushing the backs of his fingers against Harry's cheek tenderly. "We all do at some point."

 

Harry's eyes fix on his, wide and searching, as if testing Louis' trust.

 

"I don't want to give it away." It's garbled and papery thin.

 

"Hm?" Louis brushes a thumb down his temple. "What's that?"

 

"My baby." Harry states, face contorting. "I don't want to give it away."

 

Louis' stomach flops.

 

"You never do. It doesn't get any easier."

 

"Louis, I-"

 

Louis kisses his mouth gently.

 

"Shh, love. Let's wait until that's an issue, hm? Gotta get you preggers first."

 

Harry nods, eyes sad.

 

"I might not, I suppose."

 

They both know that's not true. Harry will very likely conceive before long at all.

 

"What if-" He swallows his words, biting his lip as his lashes hit his cheeks. He shakes his head slightly, deciding against voicing his thoughts aloud.

 

Louis slides his arm back around him.

 

"Go back to sleep, Harold," Louis brushes his lips to Harry's forehead soothingly.

 

Harry tangles their legs together and cuddles close.

 

//

 

Harry's gone the next morning with Ava again, this time for yoga in the park.

 

Harry comes back invigorated and they get their hour together after lunch when it's warm and lazy in the lowing sun.

 

They spend some time out in the back garden; curled up in their chairs, reading and talking but not touching. Neither of them dare to risk capital punishment again.

 

It's Harry who stands up to tilt his head towards the house, lower lip bitten under his big upper teeth. Louis follows wordlessly, a gentle hand to Harry's lower back. Their fingers twine as they climb the stairs and Harry turns Louis in towards him to kiss him; backing him through the bedroom door.

 

He kicks it shut, arms wrapping around Louis' shoulders as Louis' squeeze his waist. He pauses them when the backs of Louis' knees meet the bed. Louis licks into his mouth, soft noises coaxed from his throat until Harry slides his hands down to palm his butt-cheeks, earning himself a throatier sound.

 

He smiles; kiss broken while they blink into each other's eyes.

 

"What do you want, sweetheart?" Louis trails back his hair tenderly where it's fallen from being tucked behind his ear.

 

Harry nibbles at his lip. He wants a lot of things. He wants to suck Louis off again to practice and get better. He wants to sit in his lap and feel Louis release inside him. He wants to curl up on the bed together and just stare into his eyes. But most of all, more than anything he wants-

 

"I want to kiss you."

 

Louis smirks.

 

"You kind of already are..."

 

Harry leans forward, gently nudging Louis backwards until he falls softly on the bed, hauling himself onto the mattress as Harry stalks him with a dimpled smile. He settles over him, long fingers combing through the short strands of his hair.

 

"Is it okay if we just-"

 

"Shh," Louis pressed a thumb into his lips.

 

Harry's beautiful green eyes stare up at him until Louis releases his lips to kiss against them and then Harry's eyes flutter shut.

 

//

 

Harry isn't quite sure how it got to this.

 

He's front down, knees tucked under him while Louis' tongue is flicking deep inside him where Louis' hardness ought to be; where his _sperm_ ought to be.

 

"Lou..."

 

It's weakly whined; a meek begging for him to stop. Because part of Harry really doesn't want Louis to stop. Part of him has grown used to the pleasure and the thought of not having that...it's enough to edge him on.

 

"Like that, baby?" Louis' hand finds space between his torso and thighs to brush against his own hard reaction.

 

Harry feels Louis' heat burn into him, imprinting against his ass-cheek as Louis curls over him to kiss his spine.

 

"You look so beautiful," Louis tells him and Harry loves to hear his words. "Want to take you far away from here..."

 

"Take me," Harry's voice is thick with emotion, with the desire coursing through him as he nudges back against Louis.

 

It's an intimation for Louis to fuck him, to slide into him now and create a life that is so sought after. Louis' tongue circles his rim; curling to ease into him and broadening out flat once it's inside. The way Louis' hand wraps around him and tugs in the same moment; has him breathless.

 

The flicks are quick after that, fluttering and teasing. Harry clenches at the feeling to keep it there but it vanishes; hot softness reappearing with two hard digits; flicking in between.

 

It’s too much. Harry can't breathe. His mind takes flight into the stratosphere and he wants his whole body to float there; to stay above the clouds where reality can't reach him. No-one can reach him up there; nobody can tell him what to do. It's his freedom above the rainbows, between the sun and the moon. It's Louis' too, he's right beside him, holding his hand.

 

He doesn't realise he's come until his jaw aches and it's because he's bitten into the pillow to curb his cries of ecstasy. His thighs are shaking; his lungs heaving in air and he's wet and sticky between his body and the covers. And Louis has fallen on him, draped over his back; his own pool of thick liquid spurted into the small of Harry's back.

 

He should have aimed at his hole; he should have shot inside him. But Louis' fingers are still there, even if his tongue is not. Harry writhes a bit and Louis eases them out, hand curling around Harry's ribs.

 

"You okay?" Louis' breath scatters over his shoulder.

 

"Hm," Harry hums deeply, eyelids heavy with sated sleepiness.

 

 He feels Louis kiss his shoulder before he slips into sleep.

 


	10. Chapter 10

They have to get up for dinner. Their eyes are clinging to each other's across the table while the Cowell's make polite conversation.

 

Louis stored Simon's book safely in their room and plans to read it the next day while he and Harry sit on the porch in their usual morning routine.

 

Ava watches Harry's plate carefully, monitoring every mouthful he takes and Simon squeezes her hand when he notices, relieving Louis from saying something.

 

Harry already ran away because of the pressure of having to eat what Ava wants him to, he's not prepared to have it happen again. He even politely suggested that Harry be allowed to make dinner for them all one evening only to be declined by the woman of the house.

 

Louis knows his place. He isn't there to argue. He isn't even there to protect his Provider, but he can't help that he wants to, that his protectiveness over Harry burns hotly in his chest.

 

After dinner, they go back upstairs.

 

Harry's bright and smiley after being allowed a chocolate treat for dessert- something Ava brought out as a balm to not allowing Harry to cook, Louis is sure. But it's wonderful to see just a glimpse of the man Harry could become should they make it to the real world.

 

"I wish I could eat chocolate every day," Harry is claiming with a grin as he sits on the edge of the bed, about to undress himself modestly.

 

"You'd be huge," Louis crowds between his thighs, pausing his hands from tugging off his t-shirt. "Can I?" He asks.

 

Harry lets go of the fabric and blinks up at him, knees hugging Louis close.

 

"Of course."

 

Louis doesn't pull the garment off. He shucks his own jeans and tee and lays on the bed; guiding Harry to lay beside him and then he slowly tucks up the hem of his t-shirt to sneak fingers inside once their kissing; lips clinging together wantonly.

 

Harry moans in his throat and presses closer. Louis splays his hand over his belly, urging it up gently, like he'd treat his teenage girlfriend the night of their prom. Slow and innocent, almost.

 

"Lou," Harry looks at him with a confused pout as their kiss breaks.

 

Louis blinks.

 

"I've got an idea."

 

Harry swallows.

 

"Is it about...?"

 

Louis nods, biting his lip.

 

Harry cups his cheek.

 

"Please don't say we can't have sex anymore," he teases, the corner of his mouth curving as his eyes sparkle.

 

Louis can't help his smile back, fond and reverent.

 

"And to think when I first got here..."

 

Harry blushes a bit, looking away bashfully.

 

"I didn't know-"

 

"I know, I know," Louis kisses over his sulky lips. "But there's something else we can do," he adds. "Other than not have sex."

 

Harry frowns.

 

"Like what?"

 

Louis takes a breath for courage. He could still get arrested for even thinking such things, let alone speaking them aloud. And the consequences of his thoughts weigh heavily on his shoulders. He's the Stud here, he should be impregnating his Provider without a care for anything else. But his Provider is Harry and it's an unfair burden.

 

"I could wear a condom."

 

Harry blinks, pressing Louis' hand against his tummy where it's laid underneath his tee-shirt. He traces his fingers over his collar-bones, over the words inscribed there.

 

"How?"

 

Louis holds his gaze, testing his trust.

 

"I have some. I got them from the black market but it's something Studs do if they want to lengthen out the time they spend with a placement. It's something they do if-"

 

Harry's hand curls over his shoulder, gliding against his neck, thumb swiping over his jaw gently.

 

"If they what, Louis?" He asks, eyes flicking to his lips.

 

Louis lets Harry kiss him, short and tender.

 

"If they fall in love," he whispers, one ankle sliding between Harry's and the other sliding over.

 

Harry stares.

 

Is Louis saying-? Does that mean...?

 

"W-Wh-"

 

"Shh," Louis' free hand- the one not under his top- cups his face, tucking his hair back. "It doesn't have to mean that for us. Just...you said you didn't want to give up your baby so...this might stop you actually having one."

 

Harry licks his lips, the dangerous excitement of insubordination licking through his veins. For all the training he's had to obey, to do as he's told, as his Stud pleases; the idea of rebelling has never felt so sweet. It's scary and frightening, too but this would give them time. Not much, but something. After that, they'd most likely be parted, Harry deemed barren and Louis placed with another family.

 

Neither of them would get paid of course, but they'd have had the chance to feel something and to live a life that wasn't a lie.

 

"You'd do that?" He asks, in the quietest voice he can manage, heart thudding.

 

Louis peeks at him.

 

"If you want me to."

 

"How do we dispose of them?" Harry asks, lashes flicking up as his eyes search Louis' for answers.

 

"Chuck them somewhere when we go on one of our walks," he shrugs.

 

Harry watches him for a curious moment while Louis kisses his fingertips.

 

"You've done this before."

 

It’s a statement not a question. Louis visibly pauses, twining their fingers together. He lets out a small breath that tickles Harry's chin.

 

"Yeah. I have."

 

Harry's face contorts into sympathy; the ache in his chest only a shadow of the pain Louis must have been through. He'd deliberately broken the law to prevent a pregnancy with someone because-

 

"You loved them?" He asked, somehow feeling envious of the unknown Provider that came before him.

 

Louis chucked out a derisive laugh.

 

"Fuck, no...never been that lucky," he swallows, eyes venturing to Harry's to tack on a silent 'before', but Harry understands his hesitancy to say it aloud. He's afraid of the feelings beating in his own heart, let alone someone else's.

 

"So why did you do it?" Harry wonders.

 

"To help them escape the system. If you're listed as Barren you don't get as much work...gives you more chance of finding something else, I guess."

 

"And did they?" Harry asks, staring avidly at Louis' face.

 

Louis is afraid for one second that Harry might ditch him and escape on his own, find work as a handmaid or housekeeper for a rich family.

 

Louis shakes his head a bit.

 

"They conceived before we could stop," he murmurs. "You might have too," he adds with a brow-lift.

 

Harry tangles their legs together a bit more, curling Louis close.

 

"I'm willing to risk it," he offers bravely.

 

Louis blinks, giving a short nod.

 

"Okay. Then we make a plan?" He checks, looking back into Harry's eyes. "We get out of here before the six months is up?"

 

Harry nods, kissing him; tempting him into a sweet union.

 

"We escape as soon as we can," he confirms.

 

//

 

It feels weird with a condom. Not as nice.

 

But Harry is willing to compromise for the sake of a future together. If fate is willing.

 

When the next test date arrives, he's a bag of nerves. This is their third month and they were together only a few days ago and several times before that so it's possible he could still be pregnant.

 

Something flutters inside him; a wanting for a baby growing inside him but not for the same reasons as his placement family who sit together, hands folded together in unity whilst Dr. Payne carries out the test.

 

It feels like an eternity, waiting for the result. Harry stares at Louis who hovers by the window, but the other man moves closer at his desperate look, running a hand across his shoulders.

 

"It'll be okay," Louis soothes.

 

They've used condoms three times since discussing it, each time discarding them in the undergrowth on their walks. They'd linked pinkies in the shrouding willows by the river. Louis had pushed him up against the bark of a hidden tree and kissed him until they were both hard; spilling over hours later once they were home with a hand on each other. Wasted sperm.

 

Harry glances at Liam nervously.

 

"Negative," the medical man says; shocking the whole room.

 

"N-negative?" Harry stutters, leaning forwards.

 

Liam smiles at him patiently.

 

"It's really not unusual, Harry," he squeezes his shoulder.

 

Harry looks at the Cowell's, Simon comforting Ava with soothing circles rubbed into her back as she quivers into sobs. He feels his heart clench. Her dream has been shattered. And it's his fault. But he can't do what they're asking him to do because he isn't strong enough to let go.

 

Maybe if Louis wasn't his Stud he could have more easily decided that his manufactured child would be given up to a loving, deserving family. But Louis' child doesn't deserve to be given to anyone. He deserves to keep him or her; even if Louis changes his mind later.

 

"I'm so sorry, Ava," he hears Louis' raspy voice float over his head.

 

Ava puts up a hand, voice warbled with tears.

 

"It's not your fault."

 

Louis swallows, the saliva sticking in his throat.

 

"Harry, shall we go for a walk?"

 

Harry stands up and shucks on his jacket, walking solemnly from the house.

 

//

 

Louis takes them to the willow tree by the river, sitting beside him on the bench.

 

 "Maybe we should-" Harry starts, sighing.

 

"Maybe we should what?" Louis asks. "Give them our child?"

 

Harry twists to stare at him.

 

"Don't say it like that."

 

"Like what? Like you're giving up?" Louis accuses.

 

Harry frowns, lips hanging open.

 

"I didn't say I'd given up."

 

Louis huffs, rolling his eyes.

 

"Right."

 

Harry's eyes fill with hurt tears; a tremor creeping into his hands.

 

"I don't know what to do."

 

"I thought we decided," Louis' voice is infinitely quiet, no more than a whisper.

 

"I hate lying to them."

 

Louis sighs, curving a hand around his knee.

 

"Simon's a sympathiser."

 

"What?" Harry snaps his gaze to him too fast.

 

"Shh..." Louis darts looks about them, standing up. "We can't talk about this here."

 

He takes them to the tree-house, climbing up behind Harry and sitting beside him with an arm around his waist.

 

"He gave me a book," Louis shares once they're settled. "It's a story that a CommonLaw escapee wrote. He told me that his brother had fallen in love with a Provider and that he'd been killed from the beating he'd received."

 

Harry tensed at the mention of capital punishment, shifting to angle his arm around Louis' shoulders so that they fit together better.

 

"So, you think he'd be okay with the condoms?" Harry whispers back.

 

Louis presses his lips together.

 

"I'm not sure. But I think he's okay with us being together. As a couple I mean. As..."

 

"Boyfriends," Harry's eyes meet his slowly, drawing up from his lips to his eyes.

 

Louis' heart leaps at hearing him say it.

 

"Yeah," he breathes before cupping Harry's cheek to kiss him, melting into the feeling of flicking his tongue into his mouth and huddling close.

 

"I could still be pregnant." Harry states when he pulls away.

 

"You've got that chart at home, right? And some pee sticks?"

 

Harry nods. All part of his fertility pack.

 

"We can check before the next blood test," Louis assures, kissing his cheek. "Baby, it'll be okay."

 

"You keep saying that," Harry huffs.

 

"She was always going to be upset, Harry," he reasons. "It's not your fault."

 

Harry leans in to kiss him some more, smiling bashfully as he rubs a hand down the front of his jeans.

 

"Better not make a mess of this place," he smirks.

 

Louis' eyes are intent on him.

 

"Want to, though," he husks.

 

"Can we go home?" He asks, eyes flicking around the small wooden hut.

 

He has good memories of them being together there, but it doesn't feel right, somehow.

 

"Come on then," Louis leads the way down the ladder.

 

//

 

"Oh, god..."

 

It's harder than usual. Which isn't a bad thing, but Harry's fingertips can't grip the shiny tiled counter in the bathroom enough to re-claim semblance.

 

Louis thrusts and it's not rough enough to hurt but it's still raw, somehow. It bumps Harry against the cold surface and his nipples tingle; spiralling desire down to his groin. He's bent over, Louis' fingers in his hair pushing him down; his other hand grasping his hip to tug him back, almost.

 

He's prone but it's incredible, the feeling.

 

"Baby, so tight," Louis' breathless as he settles deep, sucking a kiss into Harry's spine. "Do you like this? Does it feel good?"

 

Harry groans in response, clenching around his heat repetitively.

 

"Sweetheart," Louis gasps, easing out only to flick his hips to embed himself once more, strong, hard, hot.

 

Harry's knees go weak; he quivers at the intensity of it. He feels the pad of Louis' thumb brush over his nipple, his hand splaying over his skin to warm away the cold from the tile. It's too much, almost. Louis fucks into him again and he's on his toes, trying to climb onto the counter to escape.

 

"Shh, hey, shh..."

 

Louis' hands cup over his chest protectively; kisses placed gently against the back of his neck. He's whining; loudly, it would seem, and he doesn't know how to stop.

 

"Does it hurt?" Louis checks, stroking down his belly.

 

Harry shakes his head, hot breaths panting out.

 

"Too good, then, hm?" Louis' voice carries a slither of pride.

 

Harry leans back a bit, rocking back on his heels. Louis settles in him with a hum; pumping slowly this time. Harry hums too, head falling ~~a~~ back against his shoulder as he straightens up. Louis slides into him hotly; with a familiar stretch.

 

Louis shifts; arms tight around his waist with a hand against the side to steady them. Harry's feet barely stay anchored on the floor.

 

"Why don't you turn around, hm?" Louis murmurs into his ear. "Hop up on the side, wrap your beautiful legs around me?"

 

Harry shakes his head.

 

"Want you like this," he manages to mumble out, leaning forward against the counter once more.

 

This time, he presses his thighs together and pushes his ass out, feet steady together on the floor and elbows gripping the side.

 

When Louis crowds up behind him and bends his knees to reach at a different angle; it feels like he's full to the brim and choking on him. He wants to part his thighs but it's incredible, the tight feeling of Louis within him and he hopes it's the same for the Louis, too.

 

"So, so good, sweetheart. So good for me..."

 

Louis' hand closes around him, stroking with the same rhythm as his hips, slow on the down-stroke, quick thrust up. Nothing matters in those blinding moments of his ecstasy. The weight of it all is lifted again, floating around him as he rockets through the stars; shooting into Louis' hand amid happy, incredulous cries.

 

"Yes! Louis, yes!"

 

Louis is very gentle when he eases out of him; the empty sensation that follows disorientating. Harry clutches at the slick of lube, more used to feeling Louis' seed there; hot and sticky inside him. He doesn't have to worry about it dripping out, though. He doesn't have to get into another position to increase his chances. It feels different somehow. More intimate.

 

"Lou?" He's weakly holding onto the counter with shaking limbs while Louis carefully hides the condom.

 

"Coming, sweetheart," Louis gathers him up to guide him to the bedroom but Harry turns and bear-hugs him, earning Louis' strong arms tight around him.

 

He makes a noise in his throat.

 

"What's up?" Louis brushes his lips against Harry's temple.

 

When Harry doesn't respond Louis helps him onto the bed, watching him curl up, reaching for something to cuddle. Louis slips under the covers beside him and draws the warm shroud over them both.

 

"Don't leave me," is Harry's plea; whispered and urgent.

 

Louis frowns, tangling fingers into Harry's hair. He drops a kiss to his forehead.

 

"I won't, Harry," he assures, letting out a bemused huff of air. "I couldn't..."

 

"Promise?" Harry clutches him close.

 

"Promise," Louis places another kiss against his hair as Harry curls up.


	11. Chapter 11

Ava is strangely bright and enthusiastic the next morning.

 

Harry approaches cautiously, eyes searching for the other men in the house.

 

"Morning Harry!" Ava beams, delivering a huge fruit platter to the table. "I'm doing a special breakfast today but help yourself to fruit... We both know that kiwis are supposed to be good for-"

 

"Fertility," Harry grinds out. "Yeah, I know."

 

He drops himself into a chair after scraping it back noisily. Ava hovers with a fixed smile.

 

"It'll happen, you know," she says, and he's not sure if it's to reassure him or herself.

 

"Of course," he nods amiably.

 

"I...I hadn't thought of how you must be feeling, too," she adds carefully. "I don't want you to feel at all stressed about this."

 

Harry ventures a look at the woman and he lets himself suck in a breath to sigh out. She's trying her best, he can see that. It's just a shame she has to put so much pressure on him to get what she wants.

 

"Where's Louis?" He asks, avoiding commenting on the whole pregnancy situation.

 

"Oh, off out with Simon," Ava waves her hand dismissively, going back towards the counter to pour tea. "I'm going to start some hot food; would you like a croissant while we wait?"

 

Harry eyes the pastries she's freshly baked and is placing on another display plate. He makes sure to take one once they're on the table.

 

"Thank you," he calls over, smiling as his tea is also served. "You know, I really could help you out with all this..."

 

Ava brings her own tea over and sits at the table.

 

"I suppose it's your nesting instinct," she muses.

 

Harry shrugs.

 

"I enjoy it. Always did. Even before I-" He pauses, offering a wan smile.

 

Ava's hand curls over his and he feels a worming in his belly. Its guilt and he hates himself for feeling it as much as he hates being the cause of it.

 

"Maybe you could help me with dinner tonight?" She suggests and he stares at her, hard.

 

"Really?"

 

Ava nods.

 

"Might be good for you, a little nesting."

 

Harry wouldn't really describe cooking as nesting, but he's not in the mood to argue. The front door opens and in spills two high-spirited men.

 

"He beat me," Simon announces as the pair tumble breathlessly in, Harry's eyes finding Louis right away.

 

"Hey, beautiful," Louis slides a hand across Harry's shoulders and leans down to kiss into his bed-messed hair. He's still got on his worn band tee-shirt and his joggers.

 

Harry glances at Simon and Ava and back to Louis with a tense smile.

 

"Hi."

 

"This guy," Simon carries on seamlessly as Louis hovers by Harry's chair. "Might look small, but he can run," the older man chuckles. "He's pretty damn fast!"

 

Harry looks up at Louis with a proud smile.

 

"You won the race?"

 

Louis grins, smugly nodding his head.

 

"Yep. Life in the old dog yet..."

 

"Louis did great," Simon affirms, eyeing the goods on the counter. "Looks like we made it home in time for brunch, too..."

 

Ava smiles at him and pats his chest.

 

"Go and shower, the pair of you. I'll start cooking."

 

Harry clears his throat.

 

"I'm going to have my shower now, too," he gets up to punctuate his words, quietly tangling his fingers with Louis before they slip upstairs together.

 

//

 

"I'm so sorry, Harry," Louis cups his face, kissing his lips in apology.

 

"I woke up alone, you know," Harry pouts for effect because he knows in their circumstances he and Louis can't have the kind of story he wants them to have. Like waking up together uninterrupted.

 

"Sweetheart, I was out jogging."

 

Harry pauses from their kisses, shuffling close under the water.

 

"But last night you promised."

 

Louis smiles, reaching for the shower-gel and lathering it in his hands. He works it up Harry's back slowly, feeling him shiver.

 

"I didn't leave you," Louis murmurs, lips brushing his ear. "I'm right here..."

 

"I want to wake up with you."

 

Louis chuckles, eyes bright as he steps back to wash Harry's front.

 

"Tomorrow," he suggests. "Why don't we wake up slow?"

 

Harry's eyes alight at that, at the suggestion. He slides a knee between Louis', arms slipping around his shoulders.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I'll make you come so hard, sweetheart," Louis promises sweetly in his ear.

 

Harry grins and feels a flush of heat rush through him. He waivers bit before lowering to his knees; hands curling around Louis' thighs while he looks up at him; the shower a rainfall around them.

 

Louis nods his agreement and Harry gets to work.

 

//

 

"When are we going to do it?"

 

Harry's laid on his side, Louis spooning him with an arm around his middle. Harry's hair is tethered messily into a bun and Louis feels soft and warm behind him.

 

"Soon," Louis promises. "I'm two-thirds through the book. We need to work out a few plans in case something goes wrong."

 

Harry grimaces, picking at the pillow-case edge.

 

"I want to stay with you, whatever happens."

 

"Harry..." Louis sighs against his neck. "If I get caught, you staying here doesn't guarantee us being together," he reasons. "I'll just get placed elsewhere and so will you. You need to think about escaping for yourself, too. If I wasn't here then-"

 

"Then I'd be a fucking robot," Harry argues quietly, twisting to wrap his arms around Louis' waist. "I'd be scared and alone and pregnant by now."

 

"You're not alone," Louis thumbs into his cheek. "Baby, you have to want this for yourself."

 

Harry sighs, closing his eyes. He does. He wants freedom for himself as much as he wants it for Louis.

 

"Okay so we agree. If one of us gets left behind, we go without?"

 

Louis nods, but Harry can't imagine Louis letting Harry fall behind any more than Harry would be willing to leave Louis behind. Especially as Louis would be the one in danger of being killed for their treason.

 

"We would have to sneak out at night," Louis suggests, swallowing. "It would take thirty minutes to get to the border. Once we're there it's a case of getting past the guards. I've heard it's manned heavily but at night it's easier. We need some ropes to get over the wall if the barrier is locked. And there's barbed wire up there. We need to be prepared for that."

 

"Do you have a gun?" Harry asks, eyes wide. His tongue darts out to lick his lips.

 

Louis' eyes lower.

 

"A small pistol. It might give us a few extra minutes, nothing more."

 

"What else?"

 

"We have to start getting fit," he adds quietly. "I'm running with Simon every day now."

 

"They won’t let me," Harry frowns in annoyance.

 

"Press ups," Louis tells him. "You'll need strong arms."

 

"Okay, I can do that," Harry nods, running a tender thumb underneath Louis' lower lips, eyes intent there until he leans forwards to place a kiss where his digit was.

 

"Harry, we could get killed." Louis tells him.

 

Harry swallows.

 

"If I stayed here without you I wouldn't be living, anyway."

 

Louis nods, kissing him back.

 

"Right...then we try in two weeks?" Louis poses.

 

It's before the next blood test is due; before they can get found out.

 

"Agreed," Harry nods.

 

Louis kisses him again, fingers creeping into the back of his hair.

 

"Do I get to make love to you now?" He asks lowly, his lips twitching.

 

Harry huffs against his mouth, sliding closer.

 

"Always," he promises as they melt into each other.

 

//

 

Louis was right. Their slow, morning sex made him come hard.

 

He dreamed of a time when they could do this without having two other people watching over them; without having a whole regime against their love.

 

He was spooning Louis for once and no matter how many times Ava called them for breakfast, he pulled Louis closer to him.

 

"We should go down," Louis' fingers reached back to ruffle his hair.

 

"Nope," Harry pressed lips into the back of his neck. "You promised me a slow wake-up."

 

"Think we did that," Louis smirked of their love-making, all tender and sweet.

 

Harry had ridden him, both locking gazes as they met their peaks. Afterwards Louis had toppled him to the bed and fucked him again; laying close to gaze into his eyes. They were running out of condoms fast.

 

"No sex for a while now, Lou," Harry admonished gently.

 

Louis grinned.

 

"It's you who can't resist me, sweetheart..."

 

Harry laughs, loud and free, clapping a hand over his mouth.

 

A quiet knock sounds on the door.

 

"Guys, it's Simon," the voice announces. "Are you busy?"

 

Harry uncurls from around Louis and sits up, rubbing his eyes with a sleepy yawn.

 

"We're just coming!" Louis calls, snorting at his particular choice of words.

 

"If you'd rather stay in bed, you can," Simon assures. "Ava was just concerned you might be hungry..."

 

Louis looks to Harry as he twists to narrow his eyes at him.

 

"You hungry, Lou?"

 

Louis' gaze flicks down him, landing on his lap now covered with a sheet.

 

"Not so much."

 

Harry's smile is slow and dimpled.

 

"Me either..."

 

"We'll eat later!" Louis calls out to Simon as Harry curls to kiss him, humming out his appreciation when he succeeds in his task.

 

//

 

"You two have been busy," Ava comments as she serves up lunch.

 

It's a leftover from breakfast- sausage and bacon omelette with a side salad. Harry eats his portion hungrily.

 

Louis smiles at Ava politely.

 

"Sorry we didn't make it down for breakfast."

 

"I should-" She pauses, laying down her fork momentarily. "I shouldn't have called you."

 

"This is amazing," Harry says of the food, ignoring the innuendo in the room. The Cowell's wanted them to get busy, didn't they? The fact that Harry is no closer to conceiving than he was a week ago isn't their business.

 

"I'm glad you like it," Ava offers a shaky smile.

 

"Is it okay if I take Harry out for a walk after dinner?" Louis checks with the family.

 

Simon nods, glancing over at his wife.

 

"Just be careful," she advises.

 

Louis nods with another fake smile.

 

"I'll look after him don't worry," he winks.

 

Harry pouts at that but was too busy eating to mind too much.

 

And so, after dinner they roam the streets; using the route they've talked about and getting a peek at the border wall. It's 12 feet high and the barbed wire is three feet thick above it. It looks impossible, razor-bladed spikes embedded in the wire. The guards parade up and down and there's a spotlight, but Louis tells him he can smash the lamp out without too much problem. The barriers sit behind the guard's office; more difficult to make it past than scaling the wall.

 

That leaves them with two things. Firstly, running fast enough once they're on the other side to outrun the bullets that will almost certainly be fired at them. And secondly; having a clean enough go at scaling the wall that neither of them get ribboned by the blades.

 

"Fuck," Harry hisses as they duck away into the dark night, his heart thumping in his chest.

 

Louis peeks at him worriedly.

 

"You can change your mind," he tells him.

 

Harry shakes his head and stalks ahead of him jaw gritted.

 

"Why is it so fucking hard?" He whispers. "All we want is freedom, is that too much to ask?"

 

Louis follows behind him slowly, watching as he veers into the pitch-blackness of the wooded land splitting the town in half. Harry thumps his back against a trunk and lets out a hopeless sigh, tears edging his eyes.

 

"We'll never fucking make it," he states, distraught. "At least not alive and in one piece...fuck, you could cut an artery on that stuff," he laments. "It shouldn't be like this!"

 

"Shh, shh," Louis crowds close, kissing silence into Harry's cold lips, kissing warmth into them too. "Baby, it'll be okay."

 

"How can it be?" Harry gestures with taut arms. "You think Simon and Ava will just pay us to stay with them forever? Is that even what you'd want? Watched and monitored every single day?"

 

"Harry, sweetheart, please stop crying," Louis begs worriedly. "We've got to get away from here," he murmurs. "Sweetheart, we've got to get away."

 

"Fucking running from-"

 

"I know," Louis hushes him again, hands against his chest. "We're running away."

 

Harry hiccups, tears streaming down his cheeks and curling around his lips, pooling in the bow of his top lip. He licks the salty liquid away, his chest feeling tight and achy as he tries to gasp in breaths; overwhelmed at the thought of escaping.

 

"I thought...I thought-"

 

"Shh now," Louis cuddles him, pressing kisses to his wet cheek. "We can do it. But we have to be committed."

 

Harry sniffles, looking at Louis from under clogged eyelashes.

 

"I need to get strong."

 

"You're already strong," Louis assures.

 

Harry smiles weakly with a roll of his eyes.

 

"I mean in my mind."

 

Louis smiles too, looking around them before kissing him slowly.

 

"I won't make you do this if you don't want to," he whispers.

 

"I want to be with you," Harry whispers back.

 

Louis takes a step away before they're found together.

 

"Then we're still good for the plan?" Louis checks.

 

Harry nods and Louis feels like it might be real.

 

"I'm good."

 

Louis licks his lips with a nod.

 

"Let's go home."


	12. Chapter 12

It's a few days later that Harry wakes up with a strange feeling.

 

Momentarily he flickers open his eyes, a hand lazily roaming over his belly in silent question as to whether he's pregnant, after all. In six days he and Louis will be escaping, a whole week before the next test is due.

 

He sits up, looking around the room for his boyfriend.

 

"Louis?"

 

The bedroom door swings open making Harry startle but the sight there has his gut twisting painfully.

 

"Lou?" He quickens to climb off the bed, walking over to grasp his forearms.

 

He looks distraught. Harry can’t help the foreboding feeling sinking into his belly.

 

"What's wrong?" He asks, cupping his face.

 

Louis swallows and looks at him with tears in his dark-shadowed eyes and Harry thinks this is it, this is the moment that they're torn apart.

 

"Louis, what's wrong?" Harry urges.

 

"They're having the test today," he whispers, blinking fast to hold away his tears. "They want to do it early because we've spent so much time in our room..."

 

"What?" Harry frowns as Louis crowds into the room, pushing the door shut.

 

"I said I'd bring you down...fuck, what do we do?"

 

Harry gulps.

 

"We did a pee stick yesterday and it was negative," Harry reminds him. "It'll be fine..."

 

Louis paces into the room, fingers pushing through his hair.

 

"We're so close," he beseeches.

 

"Louis, it'll be fine," Harry assures with a nervous swallow.

 

Because he doesn't know it'll be fine. He just hopes to God it will be.

 

Louis turns to look at him, sighing.

 

"Get dressed, sweetheart."

 

Harry moves to find some clothes; a soft denim blue shirt over black jeans; a beanie for his hair.

 

"Whatever happens, it doesn't change anything," Harry mumbles as they cuddle together at the door.

 

Louis looks up at him.

 

"Promise?"

 

"Louis, I promise," he whispers, searing a kiss into his lip. "It'll make it harder to go but I still want this. I still want you."

 

Louis gets on his tiptoes to hug Harry hard, pressing a final kiss to his cheek.

 

"I love you."

 

"What?" Harry's eyes widen, his arms tightening to keep Louis close.

 

Louis smiles but its watery and a little shaky at the edges.

 

"It's true. I'm in love with you. Have been for a while now..."

 

Harry blinks, lips parting.

 

"But I-"

 

"But you what?" Louis thumbs his cheek. "Don't get to love and be loved in return? That's bullshit," Louis tells him with a press of his lips.

 

Harry lifts his hands to clasp Louis' wrists gently as his hands frame Harry's face. He swipes his thumbs over the pulse point, looking Louis in the eye.

 

"We're so close, Lou."

 

Louis reaches up to kiss him once more, stepping back resolutely as he opens the door. Harry glances at him nervously

as they head down the stairs.

 

//

 

"We hope you don't mind, Harry..." Simon is casting looks towards Ava that would suggest he isn't entirely on board with the extra testing.

 

He'd told Harry once that what he and Louis do in their room is up to them and he feels the palpable tension over the insinuation that more time spent together would mean more insemination and more chance to become pregnant.

 

Harry feels sick with fear.

 

His promise to Louis is real but he doesn't know what a positive result may mean for them; whether Louis will even be asked to stay.

 

Instinctively he reaches for Louis' hand as Liam swipes the crease of his elbow ready to insert the need le to draw blood.

 

Louis glances at the Cowell's before stepping closer to Harry, taking his hand only when Simon nods his approval. He stares at Louis for a second too long, a silent message passing between the men that Harry doesn't understand.

 

"Just relax," Liam tells him as he clenches every muscle in his body.

 

"Ouch," he jolts as the needle stings; Louis' hand squeezing his.

 

"It's okay, H," Louis whispers, brushing Harry's hand against his thigh gently.

 

Harry glares at the doctor, afraid to look at Simon or Ava in case he lurches at one of them to wrap his hands around their neck. It's mortifying being tested anyway; it's worse knowing someone has judged his sex-life and is making him go through the ridicule of being tested again from assuming he's fucked himself pregnant.

 

If he and Louis hadn't planned to run he would have refused point blank to do it but the truth is they need to stay amicable so that when they leave there's no suspicion raised, no chance of being found.

 

"It's positive..."

 

The words echo around his mind, but they don't sink in.

 

"Wh-what?" Ava asks, voice shaky.

 

Liam beams at them all.

 

"Harry's pregnant, the test is positive!"

 

Ava gasps, turning to squeeze Simon tightly while the bottom falls out of Harry's world. He feels sick, surging to his feet to run up the stairs, stumbling down on the bathroom floor before he retches, bile rising in his throat.

 

He knows Louis follows him; hears him slam the bedroom door and makes out his patter of feet.

 

"Morning sickness already?" The smaller man teases without humour, lowering beside him to rub his back.

 

Harry spits out some saliva.

 

"I thought I'd be okay," his hands are shaking like crazy as he clutches the toilet bowl.

 

"Shh," Louis presses his chin atop Harry's head, squeezing him. "It's okay..."

 

A rap against the bedroom door lifts their heads.

 

"You locked it?" Harry frowns.

 

Louis smirks.

 

"Of course I did."

 

"Harry?" Ava's voice is unmistakeably emotional. "You should probably eat something; shall I make some toast?"

 

Harry snorts out a derisive laugh, leaning into Louis' side.

 

"She's not getting my baby," he whispers.

 

Louis gulps, nodding against his hair.

 

"It's okay, Harry. I'm getting us out."

 

Harry lets out a breath and looks at Louis.

 

"We have to go downstairs."

 

"I know," Louis nods.

 

Harry gets himself to his feet even though it's the last thing he wants to do.

 

//

 

He manages to stave off any pregnancy-related activities with Ava on the excuse of feeling sick, still.

 

He nibbles a bit of toast and takes a bowl of soup from Louis at lunchtime, but he doesn't come down for dinner. Louis is sent up to find him once they've eaten.

 

"I brought you a roast chicken sandwich," Louis places the plate on the bedside table, sitting on the edge of the bed where Harry's curled up in the duvet.

 

"I'm not hungry."

 

Louis doesn't chastise him. He walks around the bed to lay down behind him, gently combing through his hair with his little fingers.

 

"You know, you could cut this," he murmurs.

 

Harry twists his neck a bit.

 

"You don't like it?" He asks.

 

Louis smiles, placing a kiss against the back of his neck.

 

"I love your hair," he promises. "But if you cut it, you won't get recognised."

 

Harry swallows.

 

"What about you?"

 

Louis hums.

 

"Think I can shave off my stubble and slick my hair back."

 

Harry nods numbly.

 

"Harry...we're having a baby," he whispers.

 

That's what breaks him. He sobs, heart aching at the unfairness of it all. He might not even make it over the wall. He and his unborn child might die trying. And all his conditioning for ten years hasn't taken away his maternal instinct to protect his child. He has no idea how anyone could ever give their child away.

 

"They made you watch them be born," he gulps, wiping at his tears furiously. "That's so fucked up, Louis! That's your child...you have so many beautiful children and they took them away!"

 

Louis hushes him, pressing kisses against his hot cheek.

 

"I get to keep _our_ child, Harry," he murmurs. "I get to raise them with you."

 

Harry sniffles, twisting on the bed until he's turned over.

 

"We can't even celebrate it because it's not supposed to be ours," he laments.

 

Louis kisses him, cuddles him close.

 

"When we're free we can throw a baby shower," he promises, eyes meeting Harry's and holding them.  "Would you like that, sweetheart?"

 

Harry nods, biting his lip.

 

"Yeah? You'd like a little pampering session and some pretty gifts?"

 

Harry tries not to smile.

 

"I'm going to spoil you, I hope you know that," Louis tells him with a smirk.

 

Harry wriggles closer, tucking his head against Louis' shoulder.

 

"I love you," he says it quietly so only Louis and the walls can hear.

 

 

/

 

He's only two weeks pregnant.

 

They have another eight weeks in which he could miscarry and it's sobering to be told the details of what he can expect in those eight weeks, but it's also giving false hope to Ava who doesn't leave his side.

 

He's taken to various pampering sessions without Louis and when he comes home, he half expects to find Louis gone and it isn't talked about until Harry wakes up one morning to find Louis not there and he panics, thundering down the stairs only to slip and fall, crashing in a heap at the foot of the stairwell.

 

"Fuck," he whispers as he tries to pick himself up, Ava rushing to help him.

 

"Harry? Are you alright?" She crouches to stroke his arm. "Did you hurt yourself?"

 

"Where's Louis?" He accuses through narrowed lashes.

 

Ava bites her lip.

 

"He's on the porch, reading a book."

 

Harry swallows, getting himself up with Ava's help.

 

"Come and sit down with a hot drink," she coos, moving to fetch the blanket off the back to the sofa to drape over his shoulders. "You might be in shock from the fall."

 

"I want Louis," he whispers to himself, almost, swallowing hard.

 

He doesn't realise Ava has gone outside to call Louis in; the smaller man finding Harry in the hallway wrapped in a waffle-knit blanket.

 

"Hey, I'm sorry," Louis rubs his back. "I just went out for my run and you looked so peaceful..."

 

Harry glances at Ava who's hovering in the living room.

 

"I thought you'd gone."

 

"No, Harry," Louis guides him to the sofa and sits him gently on it.

 

"Louis' staying, Harry," Ava tells him then.

 

Harry looks up.

 

"He is?"

 

Ava nods.

 

"We don't want to risk anything with the baby and we know he makes you feel happy and safe so..."

 

Harry ducks his head, throat bobbing.

 

 _Shit_.

 

His heart and his head collide; emotions warring.

 

"See, babe? I'm not going anywhere." Louis slips an arm around his shoulders as he huffs.

 

"Then can you _not_ go anywhere?" He asks sulkily.

 

Louis smiles, lips pursing as he watches Ava leave the room.

 

"You might get fed up of me," he teases, pressing a kiss into Harry's temple while they're alone.

 

Harry flops the blanket away from his arm, reaching for Louis' hand and twining their fingers.

 

"I don't want to wake up alone," he begs.

 

"Okay," Louis reassures him with a rub against his arm. "I'll be there."

 

Harry nods and lets go of Louis' hand when Ava returns with a hot chocolate for them both.

 

"I'll be in the kitchen," she tells them.

 

Harry curls into Louis' side and lets the other man comfort him.


	13. Chapter 13

"You wanna...?" Louis nudges his nose against Harry's, their kissing and slow touches pushing things in a direction that Louis isn't sure his boyfriend is in the right mind-frame to enjoy.

 

"Always," Harry promises him with a pout.

 

"Not when you're six months gone," he grins, a flash of white teeth against his flushed red lips.

 

Harry rolls onto his back to peel off his clothes, eyes fixing on his belly.

 

"She was looking at names today."

 

"Two more days," Louis kicks off his sweats and glances at Harry.

 

Harry climbs carefully over to straddle him; Louis' fingers soon slicking to stretch him open, his hot kisses licked into his mouth.

 

Harry wants everything with Louis, he's realised. He's probably wanted it since they first did this, but he's been programmed to force down his own wants and needs in favour of everyone else. If Louis hadn't taught him about freedom he'd still be trapped in his gilded little cage.

 

"Hmm," he hums as their tongues collide, lashing together while their lips search for more. The truth is, they have everything right here between them and there's no more to take.

 

So, he lets Louis roll him over, onto his back and he crosses his ankles behind Louis' back so that when he thrusts into him their eyes meet and it's just as beautiful as the first time they did this all those weeks ago.

 

Coming undone is like letting go of a spooled ribbon; giddy pleasure lacing through his veins and tripping him over an edge into a beautiful abyss. He's flying before he lands in the waterfall; crashing among the waves.

 

"You're so beautiful."

 

Louis' voice is right there by his ear and he clutches him close.

 

"Don't go."

 

"Baby, I won't."

 

"Want to wake up with you."

 

Louis settles him back to sleep, dressing him carefully before pulling on some boxers of his own; not sure how Ava feels about sex during pregnancy. He gets the feeling she's the kind who would forbid it but he's not up for living by somebody else's rules.

 

He wakes up beside Harry and his loving hug is the only thing that matters.

 

//

 

They're sitting together in the living room when the news breaks.

 

Harry has his legs tucked up in Louis' lap- something Ava had eyed them warily for at first until Simon had encouraged them not to move. Louis was grateful for the other man's support. He and Harry had struggled to cope with Ava since the pregnancy had been confirmed and now Harry had to pass the three-month mark before they could breathe easy about the pregnancy being successful.

 

If Harry miscarried now, Louis wasn't sure how the young man would cope. He wasn't sure how Ava would cope, either but they planned to be out of there by then.

 

Until that day.

 

"Breaking News! The boundary wall of CommonLaw is tonight on lock down after a group of rebels charged the gates in an attempt to escape to the Free world," The reporter recounted breathlessly, the passion of his words curling around Louis and filling his veins with sudden dread.

 

"The gang had explosives and hand weapons to over-power the security guards, but they were immobilised with tasers before they could get away..."

 

Louis' fingers tightened on Harry's calves imperceptibly, his lips pressing together. He flicked his eyes sideways, watching for Harry's reaction. Harry did his best not to react, lifting his head slowly from his 'Lifestyle' magazine and nonchalantly watching the screen.

 

"Four perpetrators have been intercepted and remanded in custody until a hearing in two weeks," the reported concluded, leading Simon to flick the TV off with a swallow.

 

"I'm going to make a pot of tea," he commented softly. "Ava do we have a sweet treat for Harry?"

 

Ava looked at her husband with a distracted expression.

 

"Oh," she shifted to stand. "Of course...Harry? Would you like some cake?"

 

Harry nodded blithely, head hanging as they left the room.

 

"Fuck," he whispered.

 

Louis grasped his hand and squeezed it.

 

"We can still get out, H," he whispered furiously. "We'll wait until the security status changes back to normal and-"

 

"Did you hear what they said?" He whispered back, bewildered. "They've got tasers! What if I got hit by one, my baby would die, Louis!"

 

Louis shuffled up close, sliding an arm around his shoulders.

 

"Shh, shh," he soothed, pressing lips to his temple. "We'll talk about this later," he murmured. "We'll find a way, I promise you. I'll get us out."

 

Harry shook his head weakly, a tremor in his hands as he reached to grasp at the front of Louis' jumper.

 

"I'm sorry, Lou," he whispers quietly with a wince.

 

"What for?" Louis asked, rubbing his shoulder. "Baby, you have nothing to be sorry for."

 

"For being broken," Harry managed roughly, desperate green eyes meeting Louis' calm blue ones. "I should have just gone along with the programme, with everything I was taught and-"

 

"Shh," Louis darted a look over the back of the sofa as the Cowell's voices drifted closer. "I love you. remember? I love you. That will never change. No matter what."

 

It was a sordid promise, telling of the dangerous fatality of their plan to escape and the very likely outcome- that not both of them would make it. But Harry refused to consider that it was Louis who wouldn't make it over that wall. He deserved it the most, he deserved a life without rules and the sorrow of loss. Harry hadn't even tried that hard to live his given life; he was only starting out.

 

"I love you, Louis," he managed to whisper back, broken and crackly with emotion as he clutched at Louis' jumper.

 

Louis smiled at Simon as he entered the room first, with a tray full of drinks and cakes on plates.

 

"Let's have some cake, hm?" Louis tried to soothe him gently as Harry curled in tighter, refusing to let go.

 

"Is he feeling sick again?" Ava pouted, hovering in front of them.

 

"Think he's just tired," Louis excused. "Would you mind if I took him up to bed?"

 

Ava carried up a cup of tea and a slice of Battenberg which she knew to be Harry's favourite, depositing them on the bedside cabinet as Louis tucked him in, Harry hiding under his mound of hair.

 

"I hope he isn't getting ill," Ava worried, teeth tugging at her lip.

 

"I'm sure he'll be fine in the morning," Louis lied brightly, brushing his hands together. "Shall we have tea, then?" He asked.

 

Ava led the way back down the stairs.

 

//

 

_Two months later_

 

 

 

 

"Louis?"

 

Louis wanders out of the en-suite, towelling his hair dry feeling no need to cover his nakedness.

 

In the two months since the lock-down on the wall he and Harry have become _more_ intimate. For a while, Harry hadn't felt like sex and they'd focused on touching and kissing and getting off in every other way but by penetration.

 

Harry straddled him one morning last week, instigating a sweetly erotic release that felt that much stronger from being missing for so long.

 

Louis' gaze flicked over him as he watched himself in the long mirror on the back of the bedroom door. He was curving his spine in at the bottom, pushing out his stomach, hand running over his skin.

 

"I think I'm showing," he frowned thoughtfully.

 

Louis felt his heartbeat flicker, felt his breathing hitch.

 

"What?"

 

Male Providers often showed earlier than females thanks to the lack of curves to cover their growing child, but two months still seemed too early.

 

Louis wandered over, pressing into Harry's back and kissing his shoulder-blade as his hands slid onto his skin; threading his fingers through Harry's.

 

"Stand up straight, babe," Louis teased him breathily against his ear with a smile that reflected in the mirror.

 

Harry dimpled, straightening his back. His eyes clung hopefully to Louis' as his hands pressed on the backs of his while Louis' roamed his belly slowly; fingers coursing up through his happy trail and clinging to his muscled skin.

 

"Here?" Louis checked, fingertips grazing over a tiny, tiny curve under his belly button.

 

Harry nodded, sucking in his lower lip, eyes glowing.

 

Louis pressed his smile into Harry's shoulder, grinning as he met his gaze in the mirror.

 

"You're getting fat!" He teased right away.

 

Harry giggled, his own fingers combining with Louis' again to feel the firm swell he'd detected. Nobody else would be able to see it but he knew it was there.

 

"Sweetheart, you're so beautiful," Louis kissed his shoulder, pressing closer and rubbing himself suggestively against Harry's ass-cheek.

 

"Hmm," Harry bit his lip as his eyes fluttered shut, leaning back into him. "Show me how much," he begged throatily.

 

Louis turned him into a kiss; strong arms holding him as he wrapped around him; losing himself to their desire. Louis backed him up gently, pressing him against the wall to get friction, grinding his hips when Harry parted his legs to make room for him there.

 

"Lou...tell me," he mumbled, reaching for their lube which wobbled precariously on the dresser surface when he accidentally banged his hand into it. "Ouch," he hissed, shaking his hand gently.

 

Louis kissed his fingertips and reached for the bottle, lower lip bitten as he worked the liquid onto his fingers behind Harry's back and swiftly slicked two digits to slide into his ass-crack. He rubbed there gently with a smug smile.

 

"Like that?" Louis asked, husky with need.

 

He knew Harry liked it. The way his eyes shut firmly as a noise beckoned from his throat, a gasp of want; surprised at how fast it ignited between them, maybe. Louis worked gently into him, taking his time as he kissed him; naked bodies wedged together messily as they sucked love out of each other, each moment like this was precious and rare.

 

Ava couldn't know. She grew more and more protective every day, not allowing Harry to do anything but exercise for the sake of the unborn child's health. Not that he had a great freedom to do as he pleased before but-

 

He sighed, squirming against Louis' touch deep inside.

 

He needed Louis. Inside him. Always, if possible.

 

"Please," he whispers.

 

"You look so pretty, Harry...feel how hard I am?" Louis asked, sliding his heat against Harry's thigh.

 

"Yeah...Lou, please," he fidgeted, trying to get leverage to wrap his thighs around Louis' middle but Louis glanced at him, fingers scissoring outwards as he spoke.

 

"Going to take you over the dresser, H," he murmured. "Make you feel so good..."

 

Harry gave out a strangled cry and nodded, looking over to the furniture in eager anticipation.

 

"Now," his voice cracked with need.

 

Louis kissed him as he carried him carefully over, perching his bum on the edge at first and letting Harry wrap arms and legs around him. He almost took him like that, nudging his tip against Harry's hole suggestively since the other man didn't seem to want to let go.

 

"Wait," Harry broke their kiss to push Louis back gently, turning himself and grabbing a gown to lay over the surface of the dresser, settling his feet apart and digging his elbows into the melamine counter.

 

"Look at you," Louis' flingers slipped him into him again with a twist, a flick outwards and curl up to make him growl out throatily.

 

"Lou," he panted, weakening into the steady structure of the dresser a bit.

 

"That's right," Louis cooed, brushing Harry's hair up so it fell in his face but leaving his neck bare for kisses.

 

Louis was on tiptoes as he sucked gently into his skin, the striking heat of his length burning against Harry's ass cheek.

 

"Please," he begged again on a swallow, squeezing his eyes shut.

 

He didn't want to lose this chance. He didn't want Ava or Simon to come up the stairs and find them like this; or for anyone to know how much he needed Louis; so much that he had to beg for him to-

 

"Oh."

 

Louis sheathed himself in one move; nudging up into him hard. Harder than Harry expected; for his elbows slipped and he nearly banged his head on the wall.

 

"Hold tight," Louis told him, a gentle hand grazing down his side as he eased out and then sank back in; gentler this time, infinitely more tender.

 

"Don't," Harry gritted out. "Don't go slow for me..."

 

Louis wrapped his arms around him, hands gliding up his torso onto his chest as he bumped his hips to Harry's backside, a grin pressed into his skin.

 

"Hm?" He thrust again, Harry slipping a bit with the force once more. It was still loving though. It was still the best sex Harry could ever have wished for.

 

Harry turned his toes in slightly, dipped his lower back into an arch.

 

"Oh you want it?" Louis huffed out, hand sliding over his belly. "Now that you're showing you want it hard?"

 

Harry groaned and pressed his palms to the wall, letting his elbows give way. Louis' firm momentum against him didn't ease. He felt Louis' hands curls around his hips, tugging him back slightly, feet edging outside Harry's to persuade his thighs closer together but that would mean he'd be tighter, if anything, he'd-

 

"Oh...oh!"

 

Louis slowed a little, fucking upwards from a lower stance; the tightness driving Harry wild.

 

"Shh," Louis bit his shoulder in warning, hand stroking over his belly and nestling against the curve they'd discovered only moments ago.

 

Harry felt his other hand wrap around his heat; heard the way the dresser knocked with a soft thud against the wall and briefly imagined lying to Ava about slamming the drawers shut to cover their sounds; the way they so desperately yearned to be together.

 

"All I need is this," Louis told him, grinding in almost angrily; fingers clutching at Harry's tummy.

 

Harry hummed in agreement, clenching around him as his precipice approached.

 

"Stay in me," he panted suddenly, fingertips clawing at the wall.

 

"Hm, what?" Louis leaned over his back, slowing his hips to an erotic circular motion, hand stroking over him slowly. His lips pressed into Harry's neck, making him cry out weakly.

 

"After...just-please," he asked, swallowing hard.

 

Louis licked his lips, syncing his thrusts with his hand on him in teasing rhythm.

 

"Louis, please," he gasped.

 

Louis fucked him hard then, hand pressed to his chest and tugging him off furiously until he came; Louis spurting into him seconds before Harry's body finally gave way; peaking hard.

 

He sprawled against the dresser as he gasped for air; wanting to move and yet wanting Louis to stay in him, like he'd asked.

 

"Babe," Louis kissed his shoulder tenderly, hand ghosting his side.

 

Harry shivered.

 

"Okay," he whispers, biting his lip against his real desire.

 

"Want a plug?" Louis asked him.

 

Harry cleared his throat, turning his head a bit.

 

"What?"

 

"A plug," Louis murmured. "You wanted to feel full, yeah?"

 

Harry nodded, lashes flickering. He wanted to feel Louis' seed inside him and the stretch of him against his rim.

 

"Can I?" He whispers back, afraid. His heart thudded in his chest.

 

Louis opened the top drawer carefully, enough to slip a hand inside and pull out a pink rubber butt plug, twirling it for Harry to see.

 

"Like this one?"

 

Harry nodded, throat bobbing.

 

"Will it hurt?" He asked, looking over his shoulder to see what Louis was doing.

 

Louis kissed his spine.

 

"I'll be gentle."

 

Harry felt the mild sting as Louis eased out of him; a cool sticky bulb pressing quickly in his place against his rim, His muscles fluttered a bit, contracting and then easing as pressure was placed there, gently.

 

"Imagine it's me," Louis murmured, fingertips stroking his belly once more. "Widen your feet a bit..."

 

Harry changed his footing, sighing out as Louis twisted the plug and pushed; the flashing pain disappearing once the bulb slipped in; his ass clenching around the invasion. It was hard but not too hard; not like the glass versions he'd heard about.

 

"Hmm," he wriggled his hips, smiling at the sensation. _Full_.

 

"Happy?" Louis patted his bum with a smirk.

 

Harry gave a throaty agreement and let Louis lead him toward the bed.

 

"Lay on your front," Louis told him as Harry knelt carefully on the edge of the bed and flopped forward, butt cheeks squeezing with the fall.

 

"Hmm," he hummed, nuzzling his cheek into the covers.

 

Louis crawled to spoon him, his hand protectively curling over Harry's belly.


	14. Chapter 14

It's Simon who tells Louis about the issue with the guards.

 

"Apparently there's a sickness epidemic," the older man comments nonchalantly as they watch breakfast TV.

 

There's been no mention of a security update since the attempted escape two months ago, but Louis still watches the news just in case some secret comes spilling out that can release him and Harry for good.

 

"Oh?" Louis clears his throat, glancing over.

 

"Yeah, they're running on a skeleton team, I hear..."

 

Louis blinks, heart thundering in his chest.

 

"Let's hope they don't get another gang with grenades, then," Louis quips.

 

Their eyes meet and something passes between them, silent understanding.

 

"Twilight shift is the worst hit," Simon swallows, looking back to the TV.

 

Louis knows it's a blatant invitation; knows he's being given the perfect opportunity but he's not sure if Simon understands what will happen. He's not certain he's aware of the consequences of letting Louis flee.

 

He wants to ask so many questions. Will the door be unlocked at twilight or will he have to search for the keys to slip out into the dark? Will Ava hear them? Will she search for Harry, heartbroken at losing her chance at a family?

 

He swallows down his fears and worries, forming a plan in his mind.

 

When he and Harry leave at midnight they won't be coming back.

 

//

 

They go that night, no time to procrastinate or consider their options.

 

Louis has a pistol which he tucks into his waist band, dressing them both in black, a baseball cap on his own head and a sea-man's cap on Harry's. his hair in a bun underneath.

 

They slip out of the house quickly, unheard and unseen, walking briskly hand in hand with the freedom of the night to protect them. They huddle in the trees that surround the wall, Harry pulling Louis in for a hug.

 

"I've never been so scared in my life."

 

Louis presses his palm to Harry's belly.

 

"We'll get you both through safely," he promises.

 

Harry swallows.

 

"So, we're just going to run?" He asks, peeking over to the check point. "Like, that's our plan?"

 

Louis nods.

 

"In five minutes they swap over for night shift," Louis whispers. "They're short staffed so two guards go in and one comes out...we'll crawl our way to the box and then slip past when they're talking," he explains.

 

Harry swallows.

 

"And what if they see? I mean...they will see, won't they?" He panics, eyes widening.

 

"It's better than using the ropes and jumping the wall," Louis soothes. "You go first and I can shoot at anyone who follows..."

 

Harry stares at him.

 

"Lou, you could get shot, too," he points out.

 

Louis shrugs with an impish grin.

 

"Let me worry about that."

 

Harry twines their fingers together and kisses him hard.

 

"I won't lose you. Not now."

 

"I'll be right behind you," Louis assures him, eyes flicking to the gate. "Come on, we have to go."

 

Harry gets onto his hands and knees in the shadows, edging up the abandoned buildings in the shadows towards the gate house. Without the spotlights and constant camera supervision they slip behind the gatehouse unseen; hearts hammering in their chests.

 

Louis peeks into the window, waiting for the signal for the changeover, biting his lip nervously as he spots the two early-shift guards casually chatting, panic and adrenaline lacing through his veins.

 

What if they've changed the switchover time because of the fear of another escape? What if there's two guards all night now instead of one? What if the spotlight catches them or the CCTV picks up on their movements in the shadows?

 

"Alright Cole?"

 

"Yeah, you alright, Michael?"

 

Harry grasps his hand hard as voices mingle, guards cheerily handing over to the new sole night guard, their cue to move. They crawl around the gate-house, coming into the light slightly as they turn the corner, heads down as Louis gets to crouching position, dashing by the gatehouse door.

 

Harry freezes for a second until Louis hisses at him and then he's stumbling past the three men; all jovially oblivious to their passing.

 

They're not free yet, the dark, narrow turnstile forcing them back onto their knees for what feels like forever, crawling along the too-long check point which opens out into wide, open space with trees in the near distance.

 

Harry's knees are already hurting, his hands sore from the dry, powdery cement underneath them. He doesn't know how fast he can run when they reach the opening but he's willing to try. Every thrum of blood pushing through his veins is screaming at him to succeed. He must win at this, he must break free. His life and the life of the child growing inside him depends on his courage right now; in this moment.

 

"Ello, ello..."

 

Harry hears the voice behind them but keeps crawling, ears on alert for sounds of Louis behind him. He chances a peek over his shoulder and catches a flash of the night-guard bending over the doorway of the gate-house to stroke a cat.

 

He lets out a tight breath and pushes on, the dark nothingness ahead now visible, but still the light at the end of a tunnel in so many ways.

 

"Just run when you get there," Louis whispers, panting. "As fast as you can, Harry. Don't look back."

 

Harry crawls faster, knees throbbing with the impact of crawling so far on hard ground, but he could be alight and he wouldn't care. He's ten minutes away of having a future with the man he loves and-

 

"Oi, oi, what's all that then?"

 

The guard's voice is clear and loud and Harry doesn't question it, he gets to his feet and he runs. He's still three metres off the opening but they've been seen and he knows it. They have seconds before the panic alarm will be pressed and the spotlights will search for them in the grass; making them perfect targets for the tasers and guns that the guards use.

 

"Fuck," he whispers, grimacing as he sets into full pelt, alarms sounding in the distance as he veers right and takes the perimeter particularly hidden by brush and leading into the thickness of the forest.

 

"Lou?" He calls, lungs burning, arms chopping back and forth as his long legs stride. Fuck. _Where's Louis?_ Is he behind him or-

 

Gunshots sound out, echoing in the night. Harry's four feet from the trees when the spotlight swings around the grass, unable to find him at first. When it does circle back round he dives into the trees; shots spraying into the trunks of the protecting trees. He rolls up, unable to pause for a second without being found and he blindly thrashes his head to look for Louis, but he can barely suck in enough air to keep up the pace, let alone pause to find his love.

 

Louis is behind him, he has to believe that for his legs to keep propelling him forwards otherwise he'll stumble and fall and he'll have failed them both.

 

"Fuck," he whines as he hears yelling and commotion far behind him now.

 

_Please don't let that be Louis. Please, don't let them find him._

 

Harry pushes into the trees, searching for a way out, searching for freedom.

 

//

 

Louis doesn't know where Harry is.

 

He sprinted left while Harry took a right and by the time he realised they'd split up he couldn't do anything to change it. Not without getting killed, at least.

 

There had been another person behind them; maybe more than one. When Louis had heard the guard shout, his heart had sunk and he'd watched Harry get to his feet and run like a graceful horse; fast and steady, disappearing into the clearing.

 

He was fast, too, shooting out to stay in the shadows but the person behind them had been captured; shots fired and meeting their target if the yelps of pain were anything to go by. They'd switched from tasers to bullets, then.

 

His heart still beat erratically in his chest at the thought of it; at the thought of Harry being lost right now or even picked up by the roaming security guards still keen to stop another escape.

 

Louis vowed to search the entire forest until he found him.

 

//

 

"Babe?"

 

Louis is dehydrated and exhausted when the lowing sunlight reflects off pale skin; his legs pushing him the rest of the way through the trees towards the opening on the other side.

 

Harry is slumped against a tree-trunk ~~,~~ unconscious but so, so alive.

 

Louis skids to his knees to haul him close, ear tilted in listening for his breaths to be sure of it. His skin is beautiful; lit up by the orange sun.

 

"Harry, oh god," he chokes, tears spilling from his eyes as he presses his face into Harry's neck, squeezing him tight. "Thank god..."

 

Harry makes a noise in his throat and stirs, a hand lifting to settle in Louis' hair.

 

"Lou?" He questions on a rough voice, throat dry

 

"Yeah, it's me," he whispers, swallowing hard as he squeezes him tighter.

 

Harry's arms wrap around him, a delighted cry leaving his lips as he holds him just as hard.

 

"Fuck...fuck..." he gasps, sniffling.

 

Louis cradles him, pulling back to press a longing kiss to his lips.

 

"You're so beautiful...baby so, so beautiful..."

 

Harry curls his hand around Louis' neck to pull him into another lingering kiss.

 

"Thought you'd gone...thought they'd got you," Harry whispers shakily.

 

Louis presses a kiss to his forehead.

 

"I'm sorry. I couldn't find you...I wasn't going to stop looking," he assures softly.

 

"Did we make it?" Harry's brow contorts in hopeful question.

 

Louis feels the excitement of their impending freedom bubble up lightly in his chest. He nods.

 

"We're here," he looks across the formed city with wonder; the extent of their future unknown. "It looks incredible."

 

Harry can't look away from Louis, sitting himself up to pull him into a hug again.

 

"We made it," he says in a wobbly voice, tears wet against Louis' neck. "I can keep my baby."

 

Louis jolts at the reminder.

 

"We need to get you water and rest," he realises pragmatically.

 

Harry smiles tiredly at him, helped to his feet with a wince as he bends his legs testingly.

 

"My knees hurt."

 

Louis smiles grimly.

 

"I know. We're nearly there, H. I'll take good care of you, I promise."

 

Harry reaches over to grab his hand.

 

"You already do."

 

They begin the walk towards the city slowly and together.


	15. Chapter 15

People in the Free World are kind.

 

They take in escapees of CommonLaw and help them get on their feet in the new environment. Life isn't so different on the other side of the wall in the day to day running of things. There's still civilisation that they both recognise.

 

Only now Louis doesn't have to have sex for money; doesn't have to impregnate a string of Providers and give those babies up. He has to find work; which he does, quickly after befriending a guy called Niall who runs a bar on the edge of town.

 

One look at a limping and fatigued Harry had the brunette Irish man rushing out from behind his bar to help, offering them a room and provisions until they got settled.

 

Louis started working in the bar. At first pulling pints and washing up when Niall was short of staff and then working his way into repairs and upkeep of the place. Harry wanted to work too, keen to contribute to the fund Louis planned to accrue to buy their own place.

 

Louis hadn’t been keen at first, wanting Harry to be able to relax during his pregnancy but Harry was young and fit and so, so happy with their newfound freedom that Louis begrudgingly accepted Harry's presence behind the bar, replacing one of the bar-tenders when they left.

 

He’s six months pregnant when he really begins to show, his curved tummy suddenly burgeoning.

 

Louis wakes up one morning; splaying his hand over the bump, a happy grin curving his lips. He tenderly makes love to Harry when he wakes, spooning his body protectively with gentle bumps of his hips to ease into him gently so as not to cause any pain. Harry presses Louis' palm against his bump, gasping prettily as he comes; sticky wetness spattering over Louis' tight hand.

 

They cuddle for longer that morning; kiss each other more softly; as if their bliss will be ripped away at any second, as if their old life is chasing them down. But it's not. And it takes time to remember that here, they can kiss whenever they want and it doesn't matter who sees.

 

Harry follows Louis around during his repair schedule, missing him whenever he tries to concentrate on working at the bar by filling the dish-washer or wiping down the tables. He drapes himself over Louis' back when he's measuring the porch for a new stand; long arms wrapping around his waist.

 

"Hmm."

 

Louis smiles at the happy hum of his boyfriend, reeling in his metal tape measure.

 

"Everything okay?" Louis rubs his hand slightly.

 

Harry leans back only to let Louis twist in the embrace; solidifying their hug as they press their fronts together; lips meeting in a now-familiar way.

 

"I love you," Louis tells him, cupping his face.

 

Harry hadn't cut his hair after all, twirling it up into a bun most days.

 

"I love you too," Harry tells him slowly. "So much."

 

"Simon helped us, you know," he whispers as he grazes the backs of his fingers against Harry's cheek.

 

"What?" Harry smiles bemusedly.

 

Louis swallows.

 

"I wanted to wait until we were safe to tell you...but he's the one that told me about the guards, about the shifts and the staffing shortage."

 

Harry frowns a bit.

 

"He gave up their chance for a family."

 

"They'll find a new Stud and Provider," Louis assures him.

 

Harry nods with a sad, wistful smile.

 

"I miss my Mum."

 

"I know you do," Louis kisses his cheek. "I'm sorry you had to leave her behind."

 

"And they won't get to see me happy," he laments softly. "They won't get to see my baby grow up."

 

Louis eyes him worriedly.

 

"Babe, we can't go back," he says quietly. "It's too dangerous."

 

Harry curls him close.

 

"I know, Lou. I just wish I could bring them here with us."

 

"Me too," Louis rubs a palm over his back. "I wish we could, too."

 

//

 

Louis kisses his bump.

 

The bigger it gets, the longer it takes to press those loving lips into his skin; making him giggle with the attention.

 

"Lou!" He twists in the bed ticklishly, Louis' worshipping of his growing mound something that still catches his heartbeat.

 

He's due soon; can barely work up the energy for sex let alone find an angle that's comfortable with the extra weight on his pelvis. Louis doesn't mind, is happy to cup their unborn child and feel them kicking happily inside his tummy.

 

Harry hums as Louis' kisses travel lower, under his belly and onto his hips, tongue flicking over his dick teasingly. Harry moans as he hardens; Louis' hand wrapping around him to tug and when he slips his eyes open, Louis' there with an accomplished grin.

 

"Thought you weren't feeling it," he teases.

 

"I wasn't," Harry frowns, fingers slipping into the glossy strands of Louis' hair. He's grown his beard a bit so that it prickles erotically against his thighs when he sucks Harry into his mouth.

 

"Lou!" He gasps, hips jumping but not taking off thanks to the heavy weight of their child pinning him in place.

 

Louis' hands curl around his hips, lifting him up slightly and his eyes flutter open.

 

"What're you...?"

 

Louis shoulders his way under his thighs somehow, bearing the extra weight of Harry plus the baby on his back; determined to-

 

"Oh..."

 

Louis' tongue flicks into him, hot and a little rough. Harry reaches for the head board to grasp on for dear life.

 

"Can't wait to meet our baby," Louis pants between licks. "So proud of you, babe..."

 

Harry huffs out a breath, almost delighted laughter at the words spilling from his mouth but they're so meaningful, too. His heart clutches in his chest to hold onto the feeling flooding there.

 

"God, I love you so much," he rasps the confession out, one hand fisting in the covers as Louis tongues into him deeply, two fingers either side of the soft, wet invasion.

 

It's a slow climb, achingly tender and agonisingly sweet in the fall; spilling over his own body without touch; Louis' tongue deep in him when he comes. It might be the last time he orgasms before he gives birth and then their lives will change forever.

 

He is afraid how it will feel, being a father. About how they will manage with one income for a time; if Niall will be happy to have a screaming baby waking him up. He worries about how it will change him and Louis; if they'll lose their passion for each other and the love that has grown between them; strong and binding. He thinks about who he'll ask for help and support, without his mother there to tell him what to do, to soothe his fears.

 

"Hey...hey," Louis lays his legs against the bed gently and crawls up beside him, tugging him into a cuddle.

 

Harry's crying and he doesn't know why.

 

"What's up, sweetheart?" Louis asks, fearful. "Does it hurt?"

 

Harry shakes his head, huddling into Louis' arms for protection.

 

"I'm so scared, Louis," he admits on a tear-rich voice, throat tight with emotion.

 

"What about, H?" Louis presses a kiss to his forehead. "What's wrong? Is the baby okay? Does something feel wrong?"

 

Harry hiccups on his tears, shaking his head amongst sad sniffles.

 

"I don't know what it'll be like, after," he whispers. "What if...what if we don't love each other anymore or what if Niall doesn't want a baby around the bar, I-"

 

"Hey, shh," Louis' arms tighten a bit, hand soothing over his shoulder gently. "We'll work something out if Niall can't accommodate us with the baby," he assures. "I've got a bit saved, enough to rent us something small to start with and-"

 

"I love you," Harry cuts over him emotionally, pulling him close.

 

"I love you, too," Louis kisses his tear-stained cheek. "I won't ever stop, I promise."

 

"But-"

 

"No buts," Louis presses a lingering kiss to his lips, feeling Harry sigh out softly.

 

He makes a noise in his throat before kissing Louis back; equally gentle.

 

"I'm a mess," Harry tells him on a deep voice.

 

Louis peeks at him with a knowing smirk.

 

"I was kind of waiting for the melt-down if I'm honest..."

 

Harry's hand covers his massive bump.

 

"I'm so fat, too."

 

Louis dips his head to kiss the mound.

 

"Our beautiful baby is in there," he smiles against the warmth of his skin; reaching for the duvet to pull over them both. "Are you warm enough; do you want a jumper?"

 

Harry pulls Louis into him, tightening his arms.

 

"I want you," he states sticky slow. "I want you to kiss me."

 

Louis does; for as long as Harry wants him to.

 

//

 

Her name is Hope.

 

It's meaningful to their story but it's also a family name of Harry's grandmother, Mary Hope Twist; his mother's mother.

 

Louis falls in love with her the second she's placed in his arms; a tiny helpless bundle.

 

Harry's tired after a long labour. As fit as he is and as healthy as he tried to remain; hours upon hours of pushing and pain have taken their toll. He's put on a drip for hydration and sedated to help him rest but Louis knows he wants to be awake to hold their daughter, so he cuddles him and kisses him softly while he cradles the new born in his arms once he stirs groggily from his sleep.

 

Harry kisses him back; pressing all of his emotions into Louis' lips.

 

"Look at her," Harry's lashes are wet with tears.

 

"You did that, Harry," Louis praises him.

 

"We did this," Harry amends with a happy, soft smile as he stares at the baby girl swaddled and sleeping in the crook of his arm. "She's so beautiful, Lou, she's going to look just like you..."

 

"I'm so proud of you," Louis tells him.

 

Harry looks up at him, pink-cheeked.

 

"You can stop with the compliments now," he muses with sleepy-blinking eyes.

 

Louis shakes his head, dropping a kiss to his mouth.

 

"You're incredible."

 

Harry lets his smile grow into a grin, eyes lighting up.

 

"Is Niall here?"

 

Louis nods with a smile of his own.

 

"He should meet her. See what he's letting himself in for..."

 

When Niall comes to the maternity room for a visit, his heart is stolen by the hours-old girl crying weakly as he takes over cuddling duties.

 

"You two are not going anywhere," he states very emphatically as he rocks Hope gently to soothe her tears. "I'll build you your own wing if ya want it but if I'm to be an Uncle to this little heart-breaker then I insist you stay with me."

 

Harry bursts into emotional tears at the statement, overwhelmed by the feeling of belonging. Niall might be their only family right now but that will grow in time. The regulars at the bar know them now, Niall's own family visit often and treat Louis and Harry like their own brood. And now Hope will have relatives; she won't grow up alone, without her mother and Aunt to teach her new things. It's not the family Harry would choose to have but being able to keep Hope outweighs his heartache for who he misses.

 

"I could never have given her away," he whispers as Niall gives the baby back; Hope due for her next feed.

 

Louis sits beside him and squeezes his hand.

 

"I'd have taken another set of lashings if it meant you got to keep her."

 

Harry stares at him accusingly.

 

"She's as much yours as she is mine, Lou."

 

"Yeah but I'm used to it," his voice breaks in its huskiness.

 

"You deserve it more, then," he says resolutely, swallowing hard. "I know it'll take time to love her and to bond but-"

 

"Babe, she has my heart already," Louis assures. "The other half belongs to you."

 

Harry purses his lips as a knowing smile flickers onto his lips.

 

"Sweet-talker."

 

Louis passes him the bottle made up by the maternity nurse.

 

"Feed our little girl, Harry. She'll grow up big and strong like you."

 

Harry grins at him and nudges the bottle teat against Hope's lips. She sucks hesitantly at the milk while Harry stares at her, mesmerised.

 

Louis watches them with a sense of pride and something else; a sense of gratitude to the man who got them there, into the world where they could have a future together.

 

He leans over to press another kiss to Harry's temple, arm sliding around his shoulders to reassure him.

 

"Love you so much," he murmurs as Harry leans into him.

 

//

 

They get married in the Spring.

 

Harry's fond of flowers Louis has discovered and he works extra hours to pay for the bar to be decked in every bloom imaginable for the reception.

 

The wedding is quiet and personal, Niall and his girlfriend Emily attending as their witnesses. The reception is louder and livelier. They're not having a honeymoon; they can't leave the island anyway, but they couldn't afford a weekend away by the sea or in the mountains like Niall suggested. Louis doesn't want to take Hope too far until she's a bit older anyway and Harry wouldn't dream of leaving her behind with someone else, too scared of losing her.

 

It's still there, the fear. It lurks underneath his softened veneer. He shows his vulnerability to other people now and they see his softness, but he holds that much tighter to things that mean something.

 

Louis catches his emotional hug as Harry takes in the decoration of the bar; Hope temporarily cradled by Niall who's showing her off to the folk gathered around, cheering their congratulations to the couple.

 

"Lou," Harry squeezes him. "You didn't have to do this."

 

"I kind of did," Louis grins as Harry pulls back to kiss him, large hands pressing into his cheeks gently, cupping his face to lead the kiss.

 

Loud cat-calls and sharp whistles part them with grins; laughing into each other's mouth.

 

"Yeah, yeah," Louis rolls his eyes, gently twining their fingers to lead Harry around the room.

 

"Husband," Harry murmurs in his ear as they wander towards the first group of well-wishers.

 

Louis bites his lip against the tug of attraction in his belly.

 

"Keep that up and I'll take you over the bar," he promises darkly before swooping in to hug an older lady Harry recognises. "Olive, how are you?"

 

Harry deliberately attaches his palm to Louis' buttock once he's upright, glancing away with an innocent smile when he feels Louis' gaze burning the side of his face.

 

"Think you two better get to the bedroom," Olive's daughter, Ruby muses as her eyes focus on the owning body-language Harry is expressing.

 

"Hm?" He lifts an eye brow nonchalantly. "Plenty of time for that," he assures.

 

Louis slips an arm around his waist, fingers pushing into the vent of his dark blue jacket to hook into his side.

 

"Can't keep his hands off me," he winks to the crowd with a grin to cover the desire that burns at him from Harry's very possessive gesture.

 

"He's mine now," Harry states anyway. "Just wanted to make sure everyone knew..."

 

The group laugh but Louis is lost as to what's funny, a knowing ache beginning in his groin. They haven't made love since Hope was born, exhausted and mis-matched in their timing when it came to going to bed. Often, they made do with hurried hand-jobs in the shower or a quick, tired blow-job before passing out asleep.

 

The fact that Harry still wants him makes Louis feel warm inside. More than warm, really kind of hot.

 

"We should cut the cake," Louis excuses them from their current group with a polite smile. "Get that dished out before everyone heads off..."

 

The fact they've only just arrived doesn't seem to faze him as he turns Harry towards the bar.

 

"In a hurry, Lou?" Harry wonders idly beside him; back to holding his hand.

 

Louis tugs him gently toward the bar; crowding him up against the wooden lip of the counter; hands cupping the back of his neck and his butt simultaneously as he kisses Harry hotly; pressing into him to show him exactly how much of a hurry he's in.

 

Harry flushes at the intimated passion; the hard press of Louis' little body and the way he's taken charge to push him up against the counter makes him weak. He whimpers a bit in his throat, arms threading around his shoulders to keep him close as their tongues duel.

 

"Think it's about time you two got a room," Niall muses as he wanders over with Hope in a sling across his chest.

 

Louis stops kissing Harry, but he doesn't let go of him.

 

"Can't a guy even kiss his husband anymore?" He asks.

 

Harry curls close, cheek against his shoulder. Louis holds him up carefully, hand sliding from his ass to the middle of his back.

 

"That's more than kissing what you're doing there," Niall laughs. "Go on upstairs. I made up the suite for you both. Call it a wedding gift."

 

Louis nods.

 

"Okay," he moves to take Hope, Harry still clinging to his side.

 

"Ah leave the little one," Niall winks. "She'll be good with us for a couple of hours..."

 

Louis swallows, blue eyes meeting the blue of the Irish-man then flicking to the man beside him.

 

"Harry? Is that okay?" He checks.

 

"Yeah, Lou," he mumbles against his cheek, lips smudging a kiss there.

 

Louis bites his lip, hesitation lacing his veins.

 

"You'll come up if she starts crying? Or if it gets too loud down here?"

 

Niall grins.

 

"Absolutely."

 

Louis agrees with a sigh, lacing his fingers through Harry's to lead him around the back of the bar to the hidden stairs.

 

"Give him one from me, Lou-bear!" Niall cackles as they round the bar; the loud roar of agreement following soon after.

 

Louis rolls his eyes and hurries up the stairs.

 

//

 

They fall together; once heavy bounce before they settle.

 

Louis pushes between Harry's thighs to prop up above him, giving a throaty agreement when Harry tightens his legs around his middle.

 

"Want me like this?" Louis murmurs by his ear, fingers trailing his body.

 

"Want you," Harry manages on a thick voice.

 

Louis lays him on his front to finger him; takes his time to ease his tight muscles until Harry's gasping out pleading words to urge him on. Louis turns him onto his back gently, tender hands wrapping Harry's legs back around him with slow appreciation of those long limbs, kisses placed on his knees.

 

Harry cups his face.

 

"Let's make another Hope," he whispers.

 

Louis bites his lip against a smile. Because he hadn't thought about finding protection before they joined their bodies; so used to getting to spill inside him.

 

"You sure, babe?" He murmurs.

 

Harry nods, smiling back at him.

 

"We can make a house full if you like..."

 

Louis grins at him, easing gently into his body. Harry's breath catches and he arches his back into the feeling.

 

"Hm?" Louis hums, kissing him as he works himself against Louis' heat until Louis settles deep in him.

 

"Yeah, Lou," Harry gasps, surging his hips upwards.

 

"Easy," Louis smirks, arm wrapping around his middle to support him. "It's been a while..."

 

"Too long," Harry's voice sounds wrecked, urgent and weak.

 

Louis starts a gentle rhythm, sucking into his collarbones on his upstroke.

 

"So perfect," Louis murmurs against his chest. "Baby, so beautiful..."

 

"Want you," Harry squeezes his thighs to punctuate his words, angling his hips upwards again to feel Louis slide within him.

 

"You've got me," Louis promises, sucking kisses from his swollen lips. "Forever."

 

"Make me yours," Harry whispers, groaning as Louis thrusts harder at his words.

 

"Already did?" Louis murmurs, staring into Harry's eyes.

 

"Lou," he grits out the word, throat barking out two loud sounds of pleasure as Louis fills him, hot and hard. "Want you." He echoes again, holding on tight with his arms and his legs now, muscles quivering.

 

Louis looks into his eyes as he tempers his pace to take it slower; kissing his love into his lips.

 

Harry comes clutching him, shaking hard at the intensity of it; at how long it's been since they last did this. Louis feels burning hot inside him, thick and full and his body flutters around him; weak to his onslaught.

 

When Louis fills him with sticky seed he whimpers at the thought of more children being borne by him; joining their beautiful family.

 

Louis is breathing heavily by his ear, his weight fallen on top of Harry in their peak.

 

"Will it ever get old?" He wonders.

 

Harry curls his feet around Louis' thighs since he doesn't move out of his embrace.

 

"I hope not." Harry murmurs, deep voiced.

 

"I love you," Louis tells him again, like so many times before but right now it seems to mean something more; with life-long promises between them and rings on each of their fingers.

 

"Husband," Harry murmurs with a knowing smile.

 

Louis moans. shifting to roll to one side, pulling Harry gently with him.

 

"Hush now, beautiful," he murmurs with a smile. "I'm not the Stud I once was," he teases.

 

Harry's hand cups the back of his head tenderly, his lips finding his to kiss them sweetly.

 

"Mine now," Harry whispers contently, curling him close. "We're free."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely kindness and support, it means everything to me.
> 
> Coming up:  
> Heart Eyes (Blind Harry)  
> To Fight For Freedom (Scottish Harry)  
> I am also working on Chef Harry and Porn Harry stories but it's slow progress!
> 
> Ang


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